It seems like forever since I have been able to get on here! I miss writing but now I am afraid that the long absence will cause me to have writers block. It has been a pretty crazy two weeks for our family. After getting over my headache issues, we have been swamped with one thing after another. I think Red Head and I have only had one night at home together all week! We are trying to make the most of these last few months of just the two of us and spend time with as many people as possible since our schedules won't be quiet as flexible when Baby comes along. It has been busy but so fun! And now, it is time to roll up my sleeves and catch up on The Challenge!
Day Four
"She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands." Proverbs 31:13
This verse has been giving me a hard time. Honestly, I don't completely understand how it exactly relates to us in 2010, when we buy most of our clothes rather than making them by hand. But, I will try to get through this with the Lord's help!
We all know that wool is the undercoat of sheep that has been used for centuries to weave fabric. Don't you just love how warm a wool sweater is in the winter? But, you may not have heard of flax before. It is a plant which is really fibrous, making it great for spinning into yarn. Egypt has been known for it's excellent crops of flax. Why do you think we all love Egyptian cotton sheets? They grow the best flax!
So, the beginning of verse thirteen says that the virtuous wife seeks out wool and flax, the two big materials that you need for making clothes. She seeks out and selects the best quality for her family. She doesn't pick the tattered, worn, or grimy. She picks the strong and durable. She is finding the best quality materials to use for making clothing for her family, and also to sell to others as we will see later in the chapter.
Does this mean that if we want to be virtuous wives that we have to make our family's clothing? No, not necessarily. But I think it wouldn't hurt to know how to sew. I can't say that I would enjoy wearing homemade jeans or a blouse I put together all by myself. And Scripture isn't telling us that we can't buy and wear store bought clothes! But, have you ever been shopping and seen something that you know you could make at home? And for a lot cheaper? My sister, mother, and I have said that so often. I would even go so far as to take pictures of things I wanted to recreate later after trip to Hobby Lobby. Very often, we can make things at home for a lot cheaper than what we could buy in a store. Aprons, children's clothing, curtains, decorations, there are so many things that are easy to learn how to sew or put together. Think of all the fun you could have working on crafts and saving money! That sounds like a winning combination to me!
The second part of the verse says that she willingly works with her hands. She delights in working with her hands, it is a pleasure. So often, I think that "working with my hands" in things like doing the dishes is just a meaningless chore that I have to get done. Washing clothes, cleaning the house, doing the bills- aren't they all just mind-numbing tasks that we just have to get done? I don't think it has to be. I think we can cultivate an attitude of delight and pleasure when we work with our hands. If you break it down, maybe that will help a little: Those dishes that are currently piling up in my sink are an eyesore, and if I leave them any longer, the kitchen is going to start to stink. (Remember, I don't have a dishwasher so my two hands are responsible for every dish!) I know this task will take my at least thirty to forty-five minutes and there are so many other things that I could do with that time that are much more pleasant. But, there those dishes sit. And the pile just keeps growing and growing. However, if I work on cultivating an attitude that delights in working with my hands, I might see those dishes a little differently. I want my husband to eat, I certainly don't want him to starve. But all the cups and forks and spoons are dirty. And all the bowls and pans to cook in,- they are all dirty, hidden under the dish pile. But wait, I could view doing the dishes as aiding my husband in getting a nutritious meal. I can make it possible for him to eat a good dinner. And with the pile gone, the kitchen would look and smell better which would be pleasant for him. And if the dishes are gone by the time he comes home, he won't feel the burden to wash them for me even after he has had a hard and long day at work. Wow, that makes the thought of washing dishes so much more pleasant- knowing that it isn't just a chore that has to get done, it is a service I can do for my husband and for our home!
The challenge today: Next time you're out shopping, think about if you could recreate the items that you have your eye on. Could you do it cheaper? Don't be afraid to try! And be willing to work with your hands! If there is something around the house that needs to be done, take care of it yourself, don't wait for your husband to do it! Also, work on cultivating a spirit that delights and takes pleasure in working with your hands. Change your mindset about all those chores!
This is a HUGE challenge for me today. That story about the dishes, well, it's a true story! I hate dishes more than anything but it is high time that I start cultivating a spirit that enjoys working with my hands!
Showing posts with label The Word. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Word. Show all posts
Friday, February 19, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Proverbs 31 Challenge- Day Three
Happy snow day again to all of you who are blessed enough to live in the Memphis area. While I am back at work today, I am trying to remember that there is still snow on the ground and that is reason enough to celebrate. Seriously, I love snow. For those of you who don't know, we got a surprise snow yesterday in the very early morning hours so I got to stay home from work and enjoy the snow with my hubby. I hope everyone had a nice and relaxing day like we did! But now, on to...
Day Three
"She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:12
Ok, ladies, if this verses doesn't knock you in your stomach a bit, you need to look into a mirror! A friend of mine, whom I lovingly refer to as my twin because we are so much alike, reminded me yesterday that Proverbs 31 is "not a yardstick for women to measure themselves by, but the goal in which all women should be moving to." Remember that today and let's get moving towards that goal!
The dictionary defines "good" as morally excellent, virtuous (does that sound familiar?), of high quality, well behaved, kind, genuine, sound, reliable, responsible, beneficial, cheerful, free of distress or pain, agreeable, pleasant, and a million other ways. Just take a look at those few descriptive words for a moment. Do you resemble any of them in regards to your husband? Most of them? None of them?
Now let's look at the definition of evil: morally wrong or bad, wicked, harmful, bad character or conduct, marked by anger or irritability, harm, mischief, and a lot more. Do any of these qualities sound like you in regards to your relationship with your husband? The words in bold were done on purpose- because they remind me of myself. Ouch.
The Word says here to do your husband good and not evil all the days of your life. Every single day. There are no exceptions cited here. That means to do him good (and not evil) even when you are having the world's worst day, when you are cramping and bloating with PMS, when you are pregnant and losing your mind, when he is mean to you, and even when he doesn't deserve it. When you are a newlywed. When you've been married ten years, fifty years, and sixty years. All of our days. Seven days a week. No holidays. Does that sound like a full time job to you? Me too. But let's go a little bit deeper into what this really means for us.
I found an explanation of this verse that I really like here. It says, "The virtuous woman deals out to her husband that which is good. She dishes out to him and serves him that which is good and not evil. She wants only God's highest and best for him. Her life and her deeds are a constant benefit and blessing to her husband. In doing good to her husband she is consistent. She doesn't serve him that which is good one day and that which is evil the next day. Her husband can count on her to do him good and to be a blessing to him. He can count on her to do this today, five days from now, one year from now, ten years from now, and all the days of her life. She is not up and down, hot and cold. Her godliness is marked with consistency. " That sounds awesome to me, the kind of wife and woman I want to be.
We are called to good to and for our husbands. But what on earth does that mean? I don't think I can just give you a list of good things to do for your husband every day. You know him better than anyone else. What would encourage him? How can you best bless him each day? Is there something you can help him with? Take over for him so he can spend his time on other things? I think we should sit down, brainstorm, and come up with ways to good for our husbands. Ways to bless them. And while we are doing that, I think it is only appropriate that we also brainstorm things that we need to stop doing that would be considered doing evil to our husbands. No, I'm not saying you have a voodoo doll of your husband hidden somewhere or something outlandishly evil, but sin is sin. Do you speak negatively about your husband to others? Do you put him down in public or in private? Do you spend the family money unwisely or selfishly? Do you watch things that you know he would disapprove of? Are you constantly angry at him or causing strife in your marriage? Make a list! Write it down! And then give both of these lists to the Lord so that He can do the work through you! But don't think that this little exercise won't cost you anything. If you have been following along with is the first two days, you know it is going to cost you something. Your pride, your hidden sin, your time, your heart. There is a price to pay. But with the Lord, you'll always have what it takes to pay the price, because He has already paid the ultimate price for us!
The challenge today: Make those lists! Write down what in your marriage is evilness that needs to be dealt with. And write down ways you can do your husband good. And remember, this is an everyday thing. Not just Valentine's Day or on the weekends or when you feel like it. May we be the women who do our husbands good and not evil all of our lives!
Here is a sneak peek at a few things from my list. My hubby reads this blog so I will only give you a snippet, I don't to spoil surprises for him!
To do Him Good:
Have his shirts ironed and lunches packed in the morning
To continue to "frugalize" my expenses
Send him encouraging texts each day
Read with him everyday
Encourage him 24/7
Ask questions!
Play the guitar and sing with him
Keep the furnace on as low as possible :)
Make friend time a priority
Get out of my comfort zone
Dance in public with him
Drink as much water as humanly possible
Leave my bad attitude and complaining at the door!
And Not Evil
Stop blaming him for my waking up late (ridiculous, I know!)
Keep unwholesome words out of my mouth and our conversations (Eph. 4:29)
Set nothing evil before my eyes (Psa 101:3)
Do not turn on my laptop at any point before reading the Word in the morning
Don't watch or listen to things I know he would not approve of
Divert my eyes from any other man, attractive or not
Don't complain or grumble
Be patient!!
I hope that you all are encouraged by the Lord today. Thanks for spending a few moments with me on this journey! May the Lord shine His face upon us and grow us!
Day Three
"She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:12
Ok, ladies, if this verses doesn't knock you in your stomach a bit, you need to look into a mirror! A friend of mine, whom I lovingly refer to as my twin because we are so much alike, reminded me yesterday that Proverbs 31 is "not a yardstick for women to measure themselves by, but the goal in which all women should be moving to." Remember that today and let's get moving towards that goal!
The dictionary defines "good" as morally excellent, virtuous (does that sound familiar?), of high quality, well behaved, kind, genuine, sound, reliable, responsible, beneficial, cheerful, free of distress or pain, agreeable, pleasant, and a million other ways. Just take a look at those few descriptive words for a moment. Do you resemble any of them in regards to your husband? Most of them? None of them?
Now let's look at the definition of evil: morally wrong or bad, wicked, harmful, bad character or conduct, marked by anger or irritability, harm, mischief, and a lot more. Do any of these qualities sound like you in regards to your relationship with your husband? The words in bold were done on purpose- because they remind me of myself. Ouch.
The Word says here to do your husband good and not evil all the days of your life. Every single day. There are no exceptions cited here. That means to do him good (and not evil) even when you are having the world's worst day, when you are cramping and bloating with PMS, when you are pregnant and losing your mind, when he is mean to you, and even when he doesn't deserve it. When you are a newlywed. When you've been married ten years, fifty years, and sixty years. All of our days. Seven days a week. No holidays. Does that sound like a full time job to you? Me too. But let's go a little bit deeper into what this really means for us.
I found an explanation of this verse that I really like here. It says, "The virtuous woman deals out to her husband that which is good. She dishes out to him and serves him that which is good and not evil. She wants only God's highest and best for him. Her life and her deeds are a constant benefit and blessing to her husband. In doing good to her husband she is consistent. She doesn't serve him that which is good one day and that which is evil the next day. Her husband can count on her to do him good and to be a blessing to him. He can count on her to do this today, five days from now, one year from now, ten years from now, and all the days of her life. She is not up and down, hot and cold. Her godliness is marked with consistency. " That sounds awesome to me, the kind of wife and woman I want to be.
We are called to good to and for our husbands. But what on earth does that mean? I don't think I can just give you a list of good things to do for your husband every day. You know him better than anyone else. What would encourage him? How can you best bless him each day? Is there something you can help him with? Take over for him so he can spend his time on other things? I think we should sit down, brainstorm, and come up with ways to good for our husbands. Ways to bless them. And while we are doing that, I think it is only appropriate that we also brainstorm things that we need to stop doing that would be considered doing evil to our husbands. No, I'm not saying you have a voodoo doll of your husband hidden somewhere or something outlandishly evil, but sin is sin. Do you speak negatively about your husband to others? Do you put him down in public or in private? Do you spend the family money unwisely or selfishly? Do you watch things that you know he would disapprove of? Are you constantly angry at him or causing strife in your marriage? Make a list! Write it down! And then give both of these lists to the Lord so that He can do the work through you! But don't think that this little exercise won't cost you anything. If you have been following along with is the first two days, you know it is going to cost you something. Your pride, your hidden sin, your time, your heart. There is a price to pay. But with the Lord, you'll always have what it takes to pay the price, because He has already paid the ultimate price for us!
The challenge today: Make those lists! Write down what in your marriage is evilness that needs to be dealt with. And write down ways you can do your husband good. And remember, this is an everyday thing. Not just Valentine's Day or on the weekends or when you feel like it. May we be the women who do our husbands good and not evil all of our lives!
Here is a sneak peek at a few things from my list. My hubby reads this blog so I will only give you a snippet, I don't to spoil surprises for him!
To do Him Good:
Have his shirts ironed and lunches packed in the morning
To continue to "frugalize" my expenses
Send him encouraging texts each day
Read with him everyday
Encourage him 24/7
Ask questions!
Play the guitar and sing with him
Keep the furnace on as low as possible :)
Make friend time a priority
Get out of my comfort zone
Dance in public with him
Drink as much water as humanly possible
Leave my bad attitude and complaining at the door!
And Not Evil
Stop blaming him for my waking up late (ridiculous, I know!)
Keep unwholesome words out of my mouth and our conversations (Eph. 4:29)
Set nothing evil before my eyes (Psa 101:3)
Do not turn on my laptop at any point before reading the Word in the morning
Don't watch or listen to things I know he would not approve of
Divert my eyes from any other man, attractive or not
Don't complain or grumble
Be patient!!
I hope that you all are encouraged by the Lord today. Thanks for spending a few moments with me on this journey! May the Lord shine His face upon us and grow us!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Proverbs 31 Challenge- Day Two
For any of you who were disappointed by my absence and lack of Day Two yesterday, I apologize. It was not my best of days. It was more like a pregnant-hormonal-meltdown kind of a day. But, alas, day two has arrived....
Day Two
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain." Proverbs 31:11
This is what the Matthew Henry Concise Commentary has to say about this verse: "She can be trusted, and he will leave such a wife to manage for him. He is happy in her. And she makes it her constant business to do him good." I love this. Who wouldn't want their husbands to feel this way about them?
Apparently it was a common ancient practice that men would lock up the valuables in their homes to keep their own wives from stealing from them. I can't imagine Red Head locking up his valuables when he left the house or went to sleep, being so distrustful of me. Though it seems hard to imagine in our culture, it was a reality for many in the past. This verse is exhorting women to be much more than the normal, run of the mill wife who may or may not steal from her husband. It is calling us to be women in whom our husbands hearts can trust wholly and completely.
Are you giving your husband reasons to trust you? Are you wise with your finances or do you take every opportunity to run to Target for the newest nothing that you simply can't live without? Are you wise with your time or do you spend hours in front of the tv, computer, etc. instead of spending time talking with your spouse? Are you wise about the company you keep? The things you read and watch? These are tough questions but we have to ask them of ourselves if we are to become modern day Proverbs 31 women. And I mean that in the least corny way possible. :)
Day Two
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain." Proverbs 31:11
This is what the Matthew Henry Concise Commentary has to say about this verse: "She can be trusted, and he will leave such a wife to manage for him. He is happy in her. And she makes it her constant business to do him good." I love this. Who wouldn't want their husbands to feel this way about them?
Apparently it was a common ancient practice that men would lock up the valuables in their homes to keep their own wives from stealing from them. I can't imagine Red Head locking up his valuables when he left the house or went to sleep, being so distrustful of me. Though it seems hard to imagine in our culture, it was a reality for many in the past. This verse is exhorting women to be much more than the normal, run of the mill wife who may or may not steal from her husband. It is calling us to be women in whom our husbands hearts can trust wholly and completely.
Are you giving your husband reasons to trust you? Are you wise with your finances or do you take every opportunity to run to Target for the newest nothing that you simply can't live without? Are you wise with your time or do you spend hours in front of the tv, computer, etc. instead of spending time talking with your spouse? Are you wise about the company you keep? The things you read and watch? These are tough questions but we have to ask them of ourselves if we are to become modern day Proverbs 31 women. And I mean that in the least corny way possible. :)
Like Matthew Henry's commentary, do you make it your constant business to do your husband good? I will be the first to admit that I fail horribly at this. Most of the time, what I mean for good gets diverted by my own selfish nature. Let him pick up his own socks! That will teach him! But what does that really mean, to constantly make it your business to do your husband good? To me, it means tempering each action with the thought of how it will affect my husband. Will it hurt him? Honor him? And it also means transforming our selfish me-centered minds into minds that think about our husbands FIRST. Ouch, that one is t-o-u-g-h. Think about ways you can bless your husband. Whether it is doing something small like ironing his shirt for work or making his favorite dinner after a stressful day at the office, think about his needs and wants. Now, you need to know that this is going to be uncomfortable. It is going to mean letting go of your wants in place of his. Putting his needs before your own. Make it your constant business to do him good. Dream up ways to do this during the day. Plan. And then put those plans into action!
When Red Head and I got married, I took on his last name. I did not keep mine. It isn't my middle name, either. Although I love my maiden name, it was important for me to create this new identity with my husband. We both left our own families and became a new family, we became one. I think about my new last name a lot, even though it isn't so new anymore. To me, there is great pride in being called by my husband's name. I am forever identified by his name now. I have a new identity because of our covenantal marriage. And now that I am called by his name, I carry the weight of it. I have the power to bring honor or shame to our family and to my husband's name. Whether you know it or not, your husband can and will be measured by the woman and wife that you are. You have the power to make him more honorable and worthy in the public eyes and you have the power to disgrace him like no one else can. I don't say this to scare you, but to show you how powerful your influence in your husbands life really is.
I will give you one small example. I try to pack a lunch for my husband each day so that he doesn't have to buy a meal at work. This is partly because I'm frugal, but mostly because my mother taught me that is just what you do. She made lunches for us and daddy. It was never a "fend for yourself" culture in our home growing up and that's not what I want for our new family! I feel like a million dollars when my Red Head comes home and tells me about how all the guys at work ask him, "What's for lunch today? What did your wife pack you? My wife never makes lunch for me!" That is the best reward to me- not that I received praise, but that my husband's colleagues saw just one more reason to respect him- because he has a wife that adores him and does a simple task like making lunch for him.
Finally, what does it mean that he will have no lack of gain? For me, this goes back to finances first. When we got married, I quickly learned that Target could no longer be my best friend. Not if I wanted a marriage that lasted. Although it has been a hard and long process of working through my own consumer mindset, I have come to find that being frugal in spending is a big deal to my husband. I love the high fives I get when I tell Red Head that I got our loaf of bread for free this week with coupons or that I trimmed another $5 off of the weekly grocery bill. And this is just one more way that I show my husband that he can trust me with his whole heart (and his wallet). Are you taking steps to be frugal? If not, why not start now? It doesn't mean being stingy or a scrooge with money. It means being smart with your money- do you really need those new jeans or another trip to starbucks this week? We live by the standard of being frugal with ourselves and generous with others. And in turn, the Lord is ALWAYS generous with us; not because we deserve it but because He is such a loving Father.
The challenge today: Search out ways to show your husband that you are a woman worth trusting. Be wise with your finances, time, and heart. Even better, ask him what areas he sees that you could improve upon. And don't be mad if he gives you an honest answer! Be humble and take his advice. Rest assured that your husband loves you and wants the best for you, and sometimes that might mean stepping on your toes. Do not lash back at him with things he can improve upon! If you aren't willing to hear the answer, then don't ask the question! Also, make it your constant business to do him good. Dream up ways to do this during the day. Plan. And then put those plans into action! Thirdly, are you adding to or subtracting from your husband? Seek ways to build him up, bring him honor. If there are areas where you are bringing or could possible bring dishonor to him, deal with those issues. And seek ways to add to his wealth by thrift. Talk about making a budget if you don't already have one. And remember, a virtuous woman is hard to find. Will you be one of the diamonds in the ruff?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Proverbs 31 Challenge- Day One
Now I know that there are some of you who read the title of this post that immediately grumbled within yourselves, "Ugh, Proverbs 31. How many times have we heard that one before? Get some new material! That is so overused and way too outdated!" Well, sorry ladies, but it happens to be one of my favorite passages in Scripture, even though it is like getting punched in the stomach every time I read it. There is just SO much to this chapter and the section on "The Virtuous Wife." Since I have read these verses a million and three times and still have yet to really internalize much of it, I have decided to start a 21 day (or longer) challenge not just to merely learn the verses, but also to put each of them into practice. If you would, I would love for you to join me. You don't have to be married, you don't have to be a mother, you just need to be female. :)
Each day, I will have one verse from Proverbs 31:10-31 and some simple ideas on what it means and how we can live it out!
Day 1
"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10
The dictionary defines "virtuous" as morally excellent, upright, good, chaste. Whether or not these words describe you now, they can. Even if you don't have a "virtuous" past, there is still hope! We as Christian women are called to be virtuous, that means we need to be chaste, morally excellent. To me, that means being above reproach, or keeping yourself from any form of evil that could ensnare you. That means dressing modestly so as not cause a man to stumble by looking at you lustfully, speaking words of truth and not gossiping, being careful of the images and thoughts that you take in from the media (especially the moves and TV shows we watch and the magazines we read). It also means respecting your husband at all times- in your actions and words with other people, especially men. Now, like I said, you don't have to be married for Proverbs 31 to speak to you. Even if you are single, it is still your job to honor your husband, even if you don't have one yet! Most people do get married, and as a young woman, it is up to you to honor your future husband by keeping pure relationships. And for those who don't get married, it is STILL your job to respect your husband. Isaiah 54:5 says, "For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name..." So, ladies, there is no getting away from that point, sorry!
Being virtuous encompasses a million different aspects of our lives. We must search out every facet of our lives and discover if we are being virtuous in those areas. If you are- amen, sister! If not, by the grace of the Lord, He can transform you if you are willing.
Why does verse ten ask "who can find a virtuous wife?" Well, probably because they are so few and far between. You don't have to look far to find sad stories and examples of women who steal, cheat, lie, murder, and destroy their own families. Sure, most women walking down the street or sitting in the pews with you in church aren't going home and literally destroying their homes or families, but I bet if you look deep enough, you will see that we all have destructive characteristics. Left untamed, those could be the very downfall of our lives, marriages, and families.
"For her worth is far above rubies." Or in our society, we might say she is worth more than diamonds, Range Rovers, real estate, iPhones, or whatever else we place high value on. The virtuous woman is worth way more than the most precious of stones. That means she is extremely useful and valuable. Are you useful or valuable to the people around you? Do you sit around like a bump on a pickle all day or do you create value, working and helping? A pretty face won't make you valuable. Your service to others will.
The challenge today: Ask the Lord to help you search out your heart to find destructive patterns and behaviors. Give them to Him. No matter how small or inconsequential they may seem to you, I promise you they aren't. It all starts with one glance at the sinful fruit. Also, search out all the different facets of your life and personality and seek out ways to be a virtuous woman in each. And finally, are you valuable or useful to others? If not, seek ways to help others and add value to other people's lives in the ways that God has gifted you.
Each day, I will have one verse from Proverbs 31:10-31 and some simple ideas on what it means and how we can live it out!
Day 1
"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10
The dictionary defines "virtuous" as morally excellent, upright, good, chaste. Whether or not these words describe you now, they can. Even if you don't have a "virtuous" past, there is still hope! We as Christian women are called to be virtuous, that means we need to be chaste, morally excellent. To me, that means being above reproach, or keeping yourself from any form of evil that could ensnare you. That means dressing modestly so as not cause a man to stumble by looking at you lustfully, speaking words of truth and not gossiping, being careful of the images and thoughts that you take in from the media (especially the moves and TV shows we watch and the magazines we read). It also means respecting your husband at all times- in your actions and words with other people, especially men. Now, like I said, you don't have to be married for Proverbs 31 to speak to you. Even if you are single, it is still your job to honor your husband, even if you don't have one yet! Most people do get married, and as a young woman, it is up to you to honor your future husband by keeping pure relationships. And for those who don't get married, it is STILL your job to respect your husband. Isaiah 54:5 says, "For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name..." So, ladies, there is no getting away from that point, sorry!
Being virtuous encompasses a million different aspects of our lives. We must search out every facet of our lives and discover if we are being virtuous in those areas. If you are- amen, sister! If not, by the grace of the Lord, He can transform you if you are willing.
Why does verse ten ask "who can find a virtuous wife?" Well, probably because they are so few and far between. You don't have to look far to find sad stories and examples of women who steal, cheat, lie, murder, and destroy their own families. Sure, most women walking down the street or sitting in the pews with you in church aren't going home and literally destroying their homes or families, but I bet if you look deep enough, you will see that we all have destructive characteristics. Left untamed, those could be the very downfall of our lives, marriages, and families.
"For her worth is far above rubies." Or in our society, we might say she is worth more than diamonds, Range Rovers, real estate, iPhones, or whatever else we place high value on. The virtuous woman is worth way more than the most precious of stones. That means she is extremely useful and valuable. Are you useful or valuable to the people around you? Do you sit around like a bump on a pickle all day or do you create value, working and helping? A pretty face won't make you valuable. Your service to others will.
The challenge today: Ask the Lord to help you search out your heart to find destructive patterns and behaviors. Give them to Him. No matter how small or inconsequential they may seem to you, I promise you they aren't. It all starts with one glance at the sinful fruit. Also, search out all the different facets of your life and personality and seek out ways to be a virtuous woman in each. And finally, are you valuable or useful to others? If not, seek ways to help others and add value to other people's lives in the ways that God has gifted you.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
The Not-So-Forward Progress of This Pilgrim
An excerpt from John Bunyan's Pilgrim Progress:
"One thing I would not let slip. I took notice that now poor Christian was so confounded that he did not know his own voice; and thus I perceived it. Just when he was come over against the mouth of the burning pit, one of the wicked ones got behind him, and stepped up softly to him, and whisperingly suggested many grievous blasphemies to him, which he verily thought had proceeded from his own mind. This put Christian more to it than any thing that he met with before, even to think that he should now blaspheme Him that he loved so much before.
Yet if he could have helped it, he would not have done it; but he had not the discretion either to stop his ears, or to know from whence these blasphemies came."
How many times in my life have I felt this same way? In my mind, I hear blasphemes against the Lord, and thinking they are my own thoughts and feelings, feel horrid shame and hide from the Lord. How often I don't realize that there is an Enemy lurking about, whispering things into my ears. How heartbreaking and devastating to think you are blaspheming the one I have loved so much...
I didn't realize it today, but that is exactly where my mind has been going to the past few days. Before I explain, let me fill you in on the back story. My husband and I put an offer in on a dream house with a kitchen the size of Texas. Just days later, it became very clear that this was not the house for us. Slightly devastated, I agreed to forfeit our contract. Thus, we again began the search. We had previously seen a foreclosure home that needed some love but had so much potential. Just two hours before we were going to see the house to put an offer on it, we got the call that a contract had just been signed on the same home. So, our accommodating realtors took us to another home that same day, just a few houses down from the first dream home. We fell in love. With the house and the price and everything. It seemed perfect. Two days later, we signed a contract. This house, however, is classified as a "short-sale." The owner of the house passed away and the executor of the estate cannot pay the mortgage so it must be sold. It is about to go into the foreclosure status but for now it currently sits in limbo as a short sale. The only problem with that is that the owner and the bank must agree on the selling price. And we happen to know that the bank flat out rejected the last offer on the house, without so much as even a counter offer. Just a big rejection. And now our offer is sitting somewhere, waiting for a large contingent of people to either accept, counter, or reject it. And I'm scarred to death of that last option.
Since we signed the contract on the new dream home, I have been too terrified to even think about it. And being such a planner, it is killing me not to start making lists of paint colors and which flowers and veggies I will grow in the gardens. I'm too afraid. So I desperately try not to think about it. Of course, that doesn't work either so then I just end up worrying: What if we don't get the house? Where will we find another with that much space for that price? Will we find a house before the tax credit is up? Before our rent is up? Where on earth will we bring our firstborn home to? And when can I start gardening?
Ok, the last one was a little silly, but the other were my real worries. When the worry bug came up and bit me real hard today while I was at work, I immediately called my super calm level headed encourager husband. And, like always, he had the perfect words to say. (You have no idea how thankful I am for this man's presence in my life!)
Red Head and I started talking about my worries and fears and his simple advice was to pray! Just tell the Lord what I am feeling and what I want and trust Him with the outcome! Sounds easy enough, right? Well, to me, that was the hardest thing to do. As we talked, I realized that I had a completely warped view of who the Lord is. I made Him out to be some cynical tyrant who just wanted to teach me some lessons the hard way by getting my heart into something and then snatching it away from me. As if I was two years old again, I thought that was exactly what He did to us the first two times! Get me emotionally attached and then rip it away to teach me to be content in all circumstances. (Although He does want me to always be content, I don't think that is how He would teach me.) But in all honesty, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that the reason the first two houses didn't work out is because the Lord was protecting us! There were major issues with both of those houses and I know it was His protective hand upon us. And oh how thankful I am that He is more wise than we are and that He directed our steps.
So why then do I feel like my loving Father is a tyrant? Why am I making Him out to be the bad guy? The one who just breaks my heart? Why do I think He's some mean, malicious God who takes delight in teaching me the hard way?
That is not my God. That is not Jehovah. That is not Yahweh. That's not Jesus Christ. He is my Father, my First Love, my Redeemer, the One who loved me so much that He bought me with His own blood, the blood of His only Son. He is the God who takes delight in me. The Father who delights in giving to His children. He is my Abba. Not a cynic. Not a tyrant.
So where did all those blasphemous thoughts come from? I'm afraid that, just like Christian from Pilgrim's Progress, one of the wicked ones got behind me and whisperingly suggested many grievous blasphemies in my ear. No, that does mean that I can say, "It's all Satan's fault! He made me think that!" No, the fault lies with me, too. This is what the Word says:
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled." 2 Corinthians 10:4-6
It is my job to bring all of my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. I didn't question the thoughts that popped up into my head. Instead, I listened to them. And then invited them in for a conversation. It is a slippery slope. But this was a lesson that I needed to learn. Not because a cynical tyrant wanted me to learn it, but because my loving Father wants me to know Him and trust Him. Mission Accomplished.
So what now? I'm going to pray. I'm going to ask my Father for this gift of a home for our growing family. He knows our needs, much better we even do. And if this is not the house He wants for us, then I will trust Him to show us the right one, taking care of all the needs and special circumstances. But the most important thing is that I trust Him. And trust Him some more. And keep trusting Him. Until I never doubt Him ever again.
Oh how He loves us.
"One thing I would not let slip. I took notice that now poor Christian was so confounded that he did not know his own voice; and thus I perceived it. Just when he was come over against the mouth of the burning pit, one of the wicked ones got behind him, and stepped up softly to him, and whisperingly suggested many grievous blasphemies to him, which he verily thought had proceeded from his own mind. This put Christian more to it than any thing that he met with before, even to think that he should now blaspheme Him that he loved so much before.
Yet if he could have helped it, he would not have done it; but he had not the discretion either to stop his ears, or to know from whence these blasphemies came."
How many times in my life have I felt this same way? In my mind, I hear blasphemes against the Lord, and thinking they are my own thoughts and feelings, feel horrid shame and hide from the Lord. How often I don't realize that there is an Enemy lurking about, whispering things into my ears. How heartbreaking and devastating to think you are blaspheming the one I have loved so much...
I didn't realize it today, but that is exactly where my mind has been going to the past few days. Before I explain, let me fill you in on the back story. My husband and I put an offer in on a dream house with a kitchen the size of Texas. Just days later, it became very clear that this was not the house for us. Slightly devastated, I agreed to forfeit our contract. Thus, we again began the search. We had previously seen a foreclosure home that needed some love but had so much potential. Just two hours before we were going to see the house to put an offer on it, we got the call that a contract had just been signed on the same home. So, our accommodating realtors took us to another home that same day, just a few houses down from the first dream home. We fell in love. With the house and the price and everything. It seemed perfect. Two days later, we signed a contract. This house, however, is classified as a "short-sale." The owner of the house passed away and the executor of the estate cannot pay the mortgage so it must be sold. It is about to go into the foreclosure status but for now it currently sits in limbo as a short sale. The only problem with that is that the owner and the bank must agree on the selling price. And we happen to know that the bank flat out rejected the last offer on the house, without so much as even a counter offer. Just a big rejection. And now our offer is sitting somewhere, waiting for a large contingent of people to either accept, counter, or reject it. And I'm scarred to death of that last option.
Since we signed the contract on the new dream home, I have been too terrified to even think about it. And being such a planner, it is killing me not to start making lists of paint colors and which flowers and veggies I will grow in the gardens. I'm too afraid. So I desperately try not to think about it. Of course, that doesn't work either so then I just end up worrying: What if we don't get the house? Where will we find another with that much space for that price? Will we find a house before the tax credit is up? Before our rent is up? Where on earth will we bring our firstborn home to? And when can I start gardening?
Ok, the last one was a little silly, but the other were my real worries. When the worry bug came up and bit me real hard today while I was at work, I immediately called my super calm level headed encourager husband. And, like always, he had the perfect words to say. (You have no idea how thankful I am for this man's presence in my life!)
Red Head and I started talking about my worries and fears and his simple advice was to pray! Just tell the Lord what I am feeling and what I want and trust Him with the outcome! Sounds easy enough, right? Well, to me, that was the hardest thing to do. As we talked, I realized that I had a completely warped view of who the Lord is. I made Him out to be some cynical tyrant who just wanted to teach me some lessons the hard way by getting my heart into something and then snatching it away from me. As if I was two years old again, I thought that was exactly what He did to us the first two times! Get me emotionally attached and then rip it away to teach me to be content in all circumstances. (Although He does want me to always be content, I don't think that is how He would teach me.) But in all honesty, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that the reason the first two houses didn't work out is because the Lord was protecting us! There were major issues with both of those houses and I know it was His protective hand upon us. And oh how thankful I am that He is more wise than we are and that He directed our steps.
So why then do I feel like my loving Father is a tyrant? Why am I making Him out to be the bad guy? The one who just breaks my heart? Why do I think He's some mean, malicious God who takes delight in teaching me the hard way?
That is not my God. That is not Jehovah. That is not Yahweh. That's not Jesus Christ. He is my Father, my First Love, my Redeemer, the One who loved me so much that He bought me with His own blood, the blood of His only Son. He is the God who takes delight in me. The Father who delights in giving to His children. He is my Abba. Not a cynic. Not a tyrant.
So where did all those blasphemous thoughts come from? I'm afraid that, just like Christian from Pilgrim's Progress, one of the wicked ones got behind me and whisperingly suggested many grievous blasphemies in my ear. No, that does mean that I can say, "It's all Satan's fault! He made me think that!" No, the fault lies with me, too. This is what the Word says:
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled." 2 Corinthians 10:4-6
It is my job to bring all of my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. I didn't question the thoughts that popped up into my head. Instead, I listened to them. And then invited them in for a conversation. It is a slippery slope. But this was a lesson that I needed to learn. Not because a cynical tyrant wanted me to learn it, but because my loving Father wants me to know Him and trust Him. Mission Accomplished.
So what now? I'm going to pray. I'm going to ask my Father for this gift of a home for our growing family. He knows our needs, much better we even do. And if this is not the house He wants for us, then I will trust Him to show us the right one, taking care of all the needs and special circumstances. But the most important thing is that I trust Him. And trust Him some more. And keep trusting Him. Until I never doubt Him ever again.
Oh how He loves us.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Can I Make it Through the Eye of the Needle?
This post is dedicated to my husband. He is a man after the Lord's own heart and I am blessed to be called by his name and to be his helpmate.
Have you ever read the story of the Rich Young Ruler in Luke 18? To me, it is one of the most frightening passages in all of Scripture. Why? Because it is so easy to see myself in it.
In the story, the Rich Young Ruler (who I am guessing from his title is fairly young and fairly rich), goes up to Jesus and asks what he needs to do to inherit eternal life. Jesus tells him that he must follow all of the laws of the Old Testament, to which the man replies that he already does that! Seeing that self-righteousness, Jesus simply tells him to go, sell everything he has to give it to the poor and to follow Him.
"But when he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich." (vs 23)
That response is sad and heartbreaking. And, if I am honest with myself, hits just a little too close to home for my own comfort. Jesus goes on to say how hard it is for the rich to enter into the kingdom of heaven, and even that it would be easier for a camel (a rather large animal) to go through the eye of a needle (a rather tiny hole). Now, in America, it is so easy for us middle class folks to say that we aren't rich. I don't drive a Mercedes, I can't afford to eat out very much (and when I do, it's the value menu!), and my current home is about 600 square feet. But, compared to the rest of the world, I am living like a queen. I have plenty of food each and every day. I never hunger because there isn't enough. I have a warm and comfortable place to sleep at night, out of the elements. I have a safe job to go to. A car to drive. I can go to church without fear of being jailed. I can go to a doctor and get excellent care anytime I need it. I get cheap medicine with my amazing insurance. I have a great education and a degree! But, sadly, about 99% of the world cannot say that. We are all rich! We are blessed in ways we don't ever realize in America. We take everything for granted, because we have never had to go without. We are rich, all of us. We are richer than the rest of the world would ever dream to be. And so then we can all see ourselves in the story of the rich young ruler. But the question is, will we give it all up to follow Jesus, or will we shrug our shoulders and walk away, too afraid to give up what has made us so comfortable all these years for the prospect of something greater?
This question has been on my mind all morning, and a lot this past weekend. My husband and I put in an offer on a house yesterday. It is a beautiful house, great space and a perfect price. It makes sense. And the Lord has not put any stop signs or red lights in our way to show us that we are going the wrong way. But, Red Head and I are still hoping that the Lord will send us overseas to share His love with the lost world. We both have a heart for life long career missions and have been patiently (and impatiently) waiting for the Lord to show us when, where, and how to go. After we got back to our house last night after signing all of the papers for the house, I think it hit both of us - are we getting too comfortable in America? Will we still be ready at the drop of a hat to go wherever He sends us?
After some soul searching, I still believe the answer is yes. I still believe that even though it has been over a year since we have been overseas (and most of my Russian has been forgotten by now), I still believe that when He says Go! we will be ready to. Why? How could we give up everything that we have? All of our comforts? Being so close to our families? How could we take a young child with us to underdeveloped countries? To us, it is so simple. because the Lord has put an unmistakable call on our lives. He has given us a heart that breaks for the broken, the lost, the poor, those who have never heard Jesus' name before.
So, will buying a house keep us here, against the Lord's will? I don't think so. First of all, I think that if He wants us to go, we will go. He will remove every hindrance and open the doors that he wants us to walk through. But the house itself, will it make us too comfortable to see the needs around us? Will we become the rich young ruler? We will, if we try to do it in our own strength. But as we wait upon the Lord and trust in Him, He will be faithful. He always is. I see this house (or whichever one we end up in) as just another tool that the Lord will use in our lives. I know that we will learn so many lessons in trust as we become homeowners. But I also look forward to the times when we can open our doors, our home, and our hearts to those around us. To give them a good meal, a safe place to stay out of the storms of life, an encouraging home to be in, and plenty of love. I want people to crowd that huge kitchen, ready for food and fellowship. I want people to know that our doors are always open. I want to learn to minister to our community and to our brethren by opening up the doors of hospitality.
I can't wait. And when it is time, when the Lord gives us the word, we will sell our possessions, put the rest in storage or at our parent's houses, we will sell our home, and we will move, in faith, to wherever the Lord calls us. Whether our children are three weeks old or thirteen years old. Whether we have two or twenty kids. Our hearts are ready to be used and to be useful. And I am ready to be poured out as a drink offering to show others that freedom can be theirs- Christ is ready with open arms.
Are you ready for whatever the Lord calls you to? Are you getting too comfortable in the American dream? Don't be the rich young ruler. We may give up everything for His Kingdom, but we are promised more than we could ever image if we do. He is faithful. Even when we are not. Be ready. And don't be afraid to let those comforts fall by the wayside.
Have you ever read the story of the Rich Young Ruler in Luke 18? To me, it is one of the most frightening passages in all of Scripture. Why? Because it is so easy to see myself in it.
In the story, the Rich Young Ruler (who I am guessing from his title is fairly young and fairly rich), goes up to Jesus and asks what he needs to do to inherit eternal life. Jesus tells him that he must follow all of the laws of the Old Testament, to which the man replies that he already does that! Seeing that self-righteousness, Jesus simply tells him to go, sell everything he has to give it to the poor and to follow Him.
"But when he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich." (vs 23)
That response is sad and heartbreaking. And, if I am honest with myself, hits just a little too close to home for my own comfort. Jesus goes on to say how hard it is for the rich to enter into the kingdom of heaven, and even that it would be easier for a camel (a rather large animal) to go through the eye of a needle (a rather tiny hole). Now, in America, it is so easy for us middle class folks to say that we aren't rich. I don't drive a Mercedes, I can't afford to eat out very much (and when I do, it's the value menu!), and my current home is about 600 square feet. But, compared to the rest of the world, I am living like a queen. I have plenty of food each and every day. I never hunger because there isn't enough. I have a warm and comfortable place to sleep at night, out of the elements. I have a safe job to go to. A car to drive. I can go to church without fear of being jailed. I can go to a doctor and get excellent care anytime I need it. I get cheap medicine with my amazing insurance. I have a great education and a degree! But, sadly, about 99% of the world cannot say that. We are all rich! We are blessed in ways we don't ever realize in America. We take everything for granted, because we have never had to go without. We are rich, all of us. We are richer than the rest of the world would ever dream to be. And so then we can all see ourselves in the story of the rich young ruler. But the question is, will we give it all up to follow Jesus, or will we shrug our shoulders and walk away, too afraid to give up what has made us so comfortable all these years for the prospect of something greater?
This question has been on my mind all morning, and a lot this past weekend. My husband and I put in an offer on a house yesterday. It is a beautiful house, great space and a perfect price. It makes sense. And the Lord has not put any stop signs or red lights in our way to show us that we are going the wrong way. But, Red Head and I are still hoping that the Lord will send us overseas to share His love with the lost world. We both have a heart for life long career missions and have been patiently (and impatiently) waiting for the Lord to show us when, where, and how to go. After we got back to our house last night after signing all of the papers for the house, I think it hit both of us - are we getting too comfortable in America? Will we still be ready at the drop of a hat to go wherever He sends us?
After some soul searching, I still believe the answer is yes. I still believe that even though it has been over a year since we have been overseas (and most of my Russian has been forgotten by now), I still believe that when He says Go! we will be ready to. Why? How could we give up everything that we have? All of our comforts? Being so close to our families? How could we take a young child with us to underdeveloped countries? To us, it is so simple. because the Lord has put an unmistakable call on our lives. He has given us a heart that breaks for the broken, the lost, the poor, those who have never heard Jesus' name before.
So, will buying a house keep us here, against the Lord's will? I don't think so. First of all, I think that if He wants us to go, we will go. He will remove every hindrance and open the doors that he wants us to walk through. But the house itself, will it make us too comfortable to see the needs around us? Will we become the rich young ruler? We will, if we try to do it in our own strength. But as we wait upon the Lord and trust in Him, He will be faithful. He always is. I see this house (or whichever one we end up in) as just another tool that the Lord will use in our lives. I know that we will learn so many lessons in trust as we become homeowners. But I also look forward to the times when we can open our doors, our home, and our hearts to those around us. To give them a good meal, a safe place to stay out of the storms of life, an encouraging home to be in, and plenty of love. I want people to crowd that huge kitchen, ready for food and fellowship. I want people to know that our doors are always open. I want to learn to minister to our community and to our brethren by opening up the doors of hospitality.
I can't wait. And when it is time, when the Lord gives us the word, we will sell our possessions, put the rest in storage or at our parent's houses, we will sell our home, and we will move, in faith, to wherever the Lord calls us. Whether our children are three weeks old or thirteen years old. Whether we have two or twenty kids. Our hearts are ready to be used and to be useful. And I am ready to be poured out as a drink offering to show others that freedom can be theirs- Christ is ready with open arms.
Are you ready for whatever the Lord calls you to? Are you getting too comfortable in the American dream? Don't be the rich young ruler. We may give up everything for His Kingdom, but we are promised more than we could ever image if we do. He is faithful. Even when we are not. Be ready. And don't be afraid to let those comforts fall by the wayside.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
The Act(ion) of Submission
My husband (from now on I will call him Red Head) and I have been together for almost three years. We have been married for almost nine months. And boy have I learned a few things since that first date...
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. " Ephesians 5:22-24
This is the single most baffling piece of Scripture I have found concerning relationships. And it haunts me, daily. Although I have a million examples of this being true in my own life, I'd like to share my newest example which came just hours ago.
My husband and I are expecting our first child at the end of July. We are thrilled beyond words but we also realize that there is a lot of work to do before this new one joins our family. One big thing we are working on is buying our first home. We are currently renting a house near the university we both graduated from and although it has been a wonderful first home for our new family, we are in desperate need of space. The baby, who we lovingly refer to as Jiji (which means baby in a Central Asian language), is going to need a room some places to play! So, we have started our house search with a vengeance and have thankfully already been preapproved. I started noticing that my husband and I were choosing homes in two very different locations. And therein lies the problem- he wants one area, I want another and neither of us wants to budge. Everything came to ahead this morning when we got the preapproval information from our mortgage company and the whole deal suddenly became much more real. We can really get the money, we can really buy a house now. But where? Which house? Which area? Which neighborhood? Which school district? The questions were suddenly innumerable. And that of course turned into a huge fight.
I must tell you now, I have the most incredible husband to ever walk the face of this earth. Anyone who can put up with me, love me, forgive me, deal with me, calm me down, talk sense into me, and just plain handle me for the rest of his life deserves more awards and accolades than I can say. He is amazing, loving, thoughtful, caring, trustworthy, patient, forgiving, wonderful. That is my husband. So, when I tell you that we got into a huge fight about this house hunting issue, you can safely and reasonably assume that this fight consisted of my yelling and his calmness. Which drives me crazy. He is calm when I am anything but calm. As you can see, we are a perfect duo. A perfect compliment to one another.
I tried so hard to tell Red Head that I am right! I am the voice of reason! You NEED to listen to me! What I want is best for us! I know more about this than you do!
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. " Ephesians 5:22-24
This is the single most baffling piece of Scripture I have found concerning relationships. And it haunts me, daily. Although I have a million examples of this being true in my own life, I'd like to share my newest example which came just hours ago.
My husband and I are expecting our first child at the end of July. We are thrilled beyond words but we also realize that there is a lot of work to do before this new one joins our family. One big thing we are working on is buying our first home. We are currently renting a house near the university we both graduated from and although it has been a wonderful first home for our new family, we are in desperate need of space. The baby, who we lovingly refer to as Jiji (which means baby in a Central Asian language), is going to need a room some places to play! So, we have started our house search with a vengeance and have thankfully already been preapproved. I started noticing that my husband and I were choosing homes in two very different locations. And therein lies the problem- he wants one area, I want another and neither of us wants to budge. Everything came to ahead this morning when we got the preapproval information from our mortgage company and the whole deal suddenly became much more real. We can really get the money, we can really buy a house now. But where? Which house? Which area? Which neighborhood? Which school district? The questions were suddenly innumerable. And that of course turned into a huge fight.
I must tell you now, I have the most incredible husband to ever walk the face of this earth. Anyone who can put up with me, love me, forgive me, deal with me, calm me down, talk sense into me, and just plain handle me for the rest of his life deserves more awards and accolades than I can say. He is amazing, loving, thoughtful, caring, trustworthy, patient, forgiving, wonderful. That is my husband. So, when I tell you that we got into a huge fight about this house hunting issue, you can safely and reasonably assume that this fight consisted of my yelling and his calmness. Which drives me crazy. He is calm when I am anything but calm. As you can see, we are a perfect duo. A perfect compliment to one another.
I tried so hard to tell Red Head that I am right! I am the voice of reason! You NEED to listen to me! What I want is best for us! I know more about this than you do!
... and boy was I wrong.
I could hear myself saying all of these terrible things to my husband. I could hear the disrespectful words seeping out of my smug attitude. And the weight of it all fell on me just moments after I hung up on him for the fifteenth time... submission.
The LORD tells us plainly in Ephesians that we are to submit to our husbands just as we submit to Him. Ouch. That sounds so nice and lovely until you realize that you are submitting to another human being! Someone who has faults and deficiencies. Someone who sins! It can be hard enough to submit to the LORD and He is perfect! But submit to an imperfect person? How on earth am I supposed to do that?
Well, how are we able to do anything that the LORD asks of us - He supplies the ability and the heart to do it. Ephesians 5 goes on to say that just as Christ is head of the church, our husband is our head. And just as the church submits to the authority of Christ, we are submit to the authority of our husband. But here is the most important part to me- I am not to submit to my husband because he is smarter than me or because he is better than me. I am to submit to him because the LORD says to. End of story. Game over. The end. It does not matter how smart or dumb my husband is, it doesn't matter if I know more about a particular subject, I am to submit to him. You may be saying, "But WHY?! That is so unfair when I know more!" Well, true, you may know more about something, but you are not the head. Your husband is the head. And the final decisions for your family rest on him. And the consequences of those decisions, good or bad, rest on him, too.
So, today, after my huge meltdown over neighborhoods and school districts, and how my husband just didn't understand... I had to let go. I had to. I cannot read the Word and skip over this part. I can't pretend that this passage isn't there. My husband is my head. That is his God-ordained roll. And instead of fighting him for that leadership position, I had to step back, take up the banner of submission, and ask for my husband's forgiveness. Red Head is now back in charge, his rightful place as my husband and as the head of our household. He is now the principal house hunter, deal finder, information researcher, and overall decision maker. Yes, I know he will ask for my help along the way, which I appreciate. And yes, I know that he will ask for my opinions along the way, which I adore about him. My husband, the godly man that he is, is in control, but he knows that the LORD has given me to him for a reason. I can help him with my knowledge, expertise, and intuition. Separately, we are not a family, not a household. We are nothing on our own. But together, we are one. The LORD, Red Head, and I are one. The math may be confusing, but it's true. And it's high time that I start supporting him in a way that shows him and the world that he is my head and it is my honor to submit to him.
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