Proverbs 31 Challenge- Day Two

For any of you who were disappointed by my absence and lack of Day Two yesterday, I apologize. It was not my best of days. It was more like a pregnant-hormonal-meltdown kind of a day. But, alas, day two has arrived....

Day Two

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain." Proverbs 31:11


This is what the Matthew Henry Concise Commentary has to say about this verse: "She can be trusted, and he will leave such a wife to manage for him. He is happy in her. And she makes it her constant business to do him good." I love this. Who wouldn't want their husbands to feel this way about them?

Apparently it was a common ancient practice that men would lock up the valuables in their homes to keep their own wives from stealing from them. I can't imagine Red Head locking up his valuables when he left the house or went to sleep, being so distrustful of me. Though it seems hard to imagine in our culture, it was a reality for many in the past. This verse is exhorting women to be much more than the normal, run of the mill wife who may or may not steal from her husband. It is calling us to be women in whom our husbands hearts can trust wholly and completely.

Are you giving your husband reasons to trust you? Are you wise with your finances or do you take every opportunity to run to Target for the newest nothing that you simply can't live without? Are you wise with your time or do you spend hours in front of the tv, computer, etc. instead of spending time talking with your spouse? Are you wise about the company you keep? The things you read and watch? These are tough questions but we have to ask them of ourselves if we are to become modern day Proverbs 31 women. And I mean that in the least corny way possible. :)

Like Matthew Henry's commentary, do you make it your constant business to do your husband good? I will be the first to admit that I fail horribly at this. Most of the time, what I mean for good gets diverted by my own selfish nature. Let him pick up his own socks! That will teach him! But what does that really mean, to constantly make it your business to do your husband good? To me, it means tempering each action with the thought of how it will affect my husband. Will it hurt him? Honor him? And it also means transforming our selfish me-centered minds into minds that think about our husbands FIRST. Ouch, that one is t-o-u-g-h. Think about ways you can bless your husband. Whether it is doing something small like ironing his shirt for work or making his favorite dinner after a stressful day at the office, think about his needs and wants. Now, you need to know that this is going to be uncomfortable. It is going to mean letting go of your wants in place of his. Putting his needs before your own. Make it your constant business to do him good. Dream up ways to do this during the day. Plan. And then put those plans into action!

When Red Head and I got married, I took on his last name. I did not keep mine. It isn't my middle name, either. Although I love my maiden name, it was important for me to create this new identity with my husband. We both left our own families and became a new family, we became one. I think about my new last name a lot, even though it isn't so new anymore. To me, there is great pride in being called by my husband's name. I am forever identified by his name now. I have a new identity because of our covenantal marriage. And now that I am called by his name, I carry the weight of it. I have the power to bring honor or shame to our family and to my husband's name. Whether you know it or not, your husband can and will be measured by the woman and wife that you are. You have the power to make him more honorable and worthy in the public eyes and you have the power to disgrace him like no one else can. I don't say this to scare you, but to show you how powerful your influence in your husbands life really is.

I will give you one small example. I try to pack a lunch for my husband each day so that he doesn't have to buy a meal at work. This is partly because I'm frugal, but mostly because my mother taught me that is just what you do. She made lunches for us and daddy. It was never a "fend for yourself" culture in our home growing up and that's not what I want for our new family! I feel like a million dollars when my Red Head comes home and tells me about how all the guys at work ask him, "What's for lunch today? What did your wife pack you? My wife never makes lunch for me!" That is the best reward to me- not that I received praise, but that my husband's colleagues saw just one more reason to respect him- because he has a wife that adores him and does a simple task like making lunch for him.

Finally, what does it mean that he will have no lack of gain? For me, this goes back to finances first. When we got married, I quickly learned that Target could no longer be my best friend. Not if I wanted a marriage that lasted. Although it has been a hard and long process of working through my own consumer mindset, I have come to find that being frugal in spending is a big deal to my husband. I love the high fives I get when I tell Red Head that I got our loaf of bread for free this week with coupons or that I trimmed another $5 off of the weekly grocery bill. And this is just one more way that I show my husband that he can trust me with his whole heart (and his wallet). Are you taking steps to be frugal? If not, why not start now? It doesn't mean being stingy or a scrooge with money. It means being smart with your money- do you really need those new jeans or another trip to starbucks this week? We live by the standard of being frugal with ourselves and generous with others. And in turn, the Lord is ALWAYS generous with us; not because we deserve it but because He is such a loving Father.

The challenge today: Search out ways to show your husband that you are a woman worth trusting. Be wise with your finances, time, and heart. Even better, ask him what areas he sees that you could improve upon. And don't be mad if he gives you an honest answer! Be humble and take his advice. Rest assured that your husband loves you and wants the best for you, and sometimes that might mean stepping on your toes. Do not lash back at him with things he can improve upon! If you aren't willing to hear the answer, then don't ask the question! Also, make it your constant business to do him good. Dream up ways to do this during the day. Plan. And then put those plans into action! Thirdly, are you adding to or subtracting from your husband? Seek ways to build him up, bring him honor. If there are areas where you are bringing or could possible bring dishonor to him, deal with those issues. And seek ways to add to his wealth by thrift. Talk about making a budget if you don't already have one. And remember, a virtuous woman is hard to find. Will you be one of the diamonds in the ruff?