An excerpt from John Bunyan's Pilgrim Progress:
"One thing I would not let slip. I took notice that now poor Christian was so confounded that he did not know his own voice; and thus I perceived it. Just when he was come over against the mouth of the burning pit, one of the wicked ones got behind him, and stepped up softly to him, and whisperingly suggested many grievous blasphemies to him, which he verily thought had proceeded from his own mind. This put Christian more to it than any thing that he met with before, even to think that he should now blaspheme Him that he loved so much before.
Yet if he could have helped it, he would not have done it; but he had not the discretion either to stop his ears, or to know from whence these blasphemies came."
How many times in my life have I felt this same way? In my mind, I hear blasphemes against the Lord, and thinking they are my own thoughts and feelings, feel horrid shame and hide from the Lord. How often I don't realize that there is an Enemy lurking about, whispering things into my ears. How heartbreaking and devastating to think you are blaspheming the one I have loved so much...
I didn't realize it today, but that is exactly where my mind has been going to the past few days. Before I explain, let me fill you in on the back story. My husband and I put an offer in on a dream house with a kitchen the size of Texas. Just days later, it became very clear that this was not the house for us. Slightly devastated, I agreed to forfeit our contract. Thus, we again began the search. We had previously seen a foreclosure home that needed some love but had so much potential. Just two hours before we were going to see the house to put an offer on it, we got the call that a contract had just been signed on the same home. So, our accommodating realtors took us to another home that same day, just a few houses down from the first dream home. We fell in love. With the house and the price and everything. It seemed perfect. Two days later, we signed a contract. This house, however, is classified as a "short-sale." The owner of the house passed away and the executor of the estate cannot pay the mortgage so it must be sold. It is about to go into the foreclosure status but for now it currently sits in limbo as a short sale. The only problem with that is that the owner and the bank must agree on the selling price. And we happen to know that the bank flat out rejected the last offer on the house, without so much as even a counter offer. Just a big rejection. And now our offer is sitting somewhere, waiting for a large contingent of people to either accept, counter, or reject it. And I'm scarred to death of that last option.
Since we signed the contract on the new dream home, I have been too terrified to even think about it. And being such a planner, it is killing me not to start making lists of paint colors and which flowers and veggies I will grow in the gardens. I'm too afraid. So I desperately try not to think about it. Of course, that doesn't work either so then I just end up worrying: What if we don't get the house? Where will we find another with that much space for that price? Will we find a house before the tax credit is up? Before our rent is up? Where on earth will we bring our firstborn home to? And when can I start gardening?
Ok, the last one was a little silly, but the other were my real worries. When the worry bug came up and bit me real hard today while I was at work, I immediately called my super calm level headed encourager husband. And, like always, he had the perfect words to say. (You have no idea how thankful I am for this man's presence in my life!)
Red Head and I started talking about my worries and fears and his simple advice was to pray! Just tell the Lord what I am feeling and what I want and trust Him with the outcome! Sounds easy enough, right? Well, to me, that was the hardest thing to do. As we talked, I realized that I had a completely warped view of who the Lord is. I made Him out to be some cynical tyrant who just wanted to teach me some lessons the hard way by getting my heart into something and then snatching it away from me. As if I was two years old again, I thought that was exactly what He did to us the first two times! Get me emotionally attached and then rip it away to teach me to be content in all circumstances. (Although He does want me to always be content, I don't think that is how He would teach me.) But in all honesty, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that the reason the first two houses didn't work out is because the Lord was protecting us! There were major issues with both of those houses and I know it was His protective hand upon us. And oh how thankful I am that He is more wise than we are and that He directed our steps.
So why then do I feel like my loving Father is a tyrant? Why am I making Him out to be the bad guy? The one who just breaks my heart? Why do I think He's some mean, malicious God who takes delight in teaching me the hard way?
That is not my God. That is not Jehovah. That is not Yahweh. That's not Jesus Christ. He is my Father, my First Love, my Redeemer, the One who loved me so much that He bought me with His own blood, the blood of His only Son. He is the God who takes delight in me. The Father who delights in giving to His children. He is my Abba. Not a cynic. Not a tyrant.
So where did all those blasphemous thoughts come from? I'm afraid that, just like Christian from Pilgrim's Progress, one of the wicked ones got behind me and whisperingly suggested many grievous blasphemies in my ear. No, that does mean that I can say, "It's all Satan's fault! He made me think that!" No, the fault lies with me, too. This is what the Word says:
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled." 2 Corinthians 10:4-6
It is my job to bring all of my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. I didn't question the thoughts that popped up into my head. Instead, I listened to them. And then invited them in for a conversation. It is a slippery slope. But this was a lesson that I needed to learn. Not because a cynical tyrant wanted me to learn it, but because my loving Father wants me to know Him and trust Him. Mission Accomplished.
So what now? I'm going to pray. I'm going to ask my Father for this gift of a home for our growing family. He knows our needs, much better we even do. And if this is not the house He wants for us, then I will trust Him to show us the right one, taking care of all the needs and special circumstances. But the most important thing is that I trust Him. And trust Him some more. And keep trusting Him. Until I never doubt Him ever again.
Oh how He loves us.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Can I Make it Through the Eye of the Needle?
This post is dedicated to my husband. He is a man after the Lord's own heart and I am blessed to be called by his name and to be his helpmate.
Have you ever read the story of the Rich Young Ruler in Luke 18? To me, it is one of the most frightening passages in all of Scripture. Why? Because it is so easy to see myself in it.
In the story, the Rich Young Ruler (who I am guessing from his title is fairly young and fairly rich), goes up to Jesus and asks what he needs to do to inherit eternal life. Jesus tells him that he must follow all of the laws of the Old Testament, to which the man replies that he already does that! Seeing that self-righteousness, Jesus simply tells him to go, sell everything he has to give it to the poor and to follow Him.
"But when he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich." (vs 23)
That response is sad and heartbreaking. And, if I am honest with myself, hits just a little too close to home for my own comfort. Jesus goes on to say how hard it is for the rich to enter into the kingdom of heaven, and even that it would be easier for a camel (a rather large animal) to go through the eye of a needle (a rather tiny hole). Now, in America, it is so easy for us middle class folks to say that we aren't rich. I don't drive a Mercedes, I can't afford to eat out very much (and when I do, it's the value menu!), and my current home is about 600 square feet. But, compared to the rest of the world, I am living like a queen. I have plenty of food each and every day. I never hunger because there isn't enough. I have a warm and comfortable place to sleep at night, out of the elements. I have a safe job to go to. A car to drive. I can go to church without fear of being jailed. I can go to a doctor and get excellent care anytime I need it. I get cheap medicine with my amazing insurance. I have a great education and a degree! But, sadly, about 99% of the world cannot say that. We are all rich! We are blessed in ways we don't ever realize in America. We take everything for granted, because we have never had to go without. We are rich, all of us. We are richer than the rest of the world would ever dream to be. And so then we can all see ourselves in the story of the rich young ruler. But the question is, will we give it all up to follow Jesus, or will we shrug our shoulders and walk away, too afraid to give up what has made us so comfortable all these years for the prospect of something greater?
This question has been on my mind all morning, and a lot this past weekend. My husband and I put in an offer on a house yesterday. It is a beautiful house, great space and a perfect price. It makes sense. And the Lord has not put any stop signs or red lights in our way to show us that we are going the wrong way. But, Red Head and I are still hoping that the Lord will send us overseas to share His love with the lost world. We both have a heart for life long career missions and have been patiently (and impatiently) waiting for the Lord to show us when, where, and how to go. After we got back to our house last night after signing all of the papers for the house, I think it hit both of us - are we getting too comfortable in America? Will we still be ready at the drop of a hat to go wherever He sends us?
After some soul searching, I still believe the answer is yes. I still believe that even though it has been over a year since we have been overseas (and most of my Russian has been forgotten by now), I still believe that when He says Go! we will be ready to. Why? How could we give up everything that we have? All of our comforts? Being so close to our families? How could we take a young child with us to underdeveloped countries? To us, it is so simple. because the Lord has put an unmistakable call on our lives. He has given us a heart that breaks for the broken, the lost, the poor, those who have never heard Jesus' name before.
So, will buying a house keep us here, against the Lord's will? I don't think so. First of all, I think that if He wants us to go, we will go. He will remove every hindrance and open the doors that he wants us to walk through. But the house itself, will it make us too comfortable to see the needs around us? Will we become the rich young ruler? We will, if we try to do it in our own strength. But as we wait upon the Lord and trust in Him, He will be faithful. He always is. I see this house (or whichever one we end up in) as just another tool that the Lord will use in our lives. I know that we will learn so many lessons in trust as we become homeowners. But I also look forward to the times when we can open our doors, our home, and our hearts to those around us. To give them a good meal, a safe place to stay out of the storms of life, an encouraging home to be in, and plenty of love. I want people to crowd that huge kitchen, ready for food and fellowship. I want people to know that our doors are always open. I want to learn to minister to our community and to our brethren by opening up the doors of hospitality.
I can't wait. And when it is time, when the Lord gives us the word, we will sell our possessions, put the rest in storage or at our parent's houses, we will sell our home, and we will move, in faith, to wherever the Lord calls us. Whether our children are three weeks old or thirteen years old. Whether we have two or twenty kids. Our hearts are ready to be used and to be useful. And I am ready to be poured out as a drink offering to show others that freedom can be theirs- Christ is ready with open arms.
Are you ready for whatever the Lord calls you to? Are you getting too comfortable in the American dream? Don't be the rich young ruler. We may give up everything for His Kingdom, but we are promised more than we could ever image if we do. He is faithful. Even when we are not. Be ready. And don't be afraid to let those comforts fall by the wayside.
Have you ever read the story of the Rich Young Ruler in Luke 18? To me, it is one of the most frightening passages in all of Scripture. Why? Because it is so easy to see myself in it.
In the story, the Rich Young Ruler (who I am guessing from his title is fairly young and fairly rich), goes up to Jesus and asks what he needs to do to inherit eternal life. Jesus tells him that he must follow all of the laws of the Old Testament, to which the man replies that he already does that! Seeing that self-righteousness, Jesus simply tells him to go, sell everything he has to give it to the poor and to follow Him.
"But when he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich." (vs 23)
That response is sad and heartbreaking. And, if I am honest with myself, hits just a little too close to home for my own comfort. Jesus goes on to say how hard it is for the rich to enter into the kingdom of heaven, and even that it would be easier for a camel (a rather large animal) to go through the eye of a needle (a rather tiny hole). Now, in America, it is so easy for us middle class folks to say that we aren't rich. I don't drive a Mercedes, I can't afford to eat out very much (and when I do, it's the value menu!), and my current home is about 600 square feet. But, compared to the rest of the world, I am living like a queen. I have plenty of food each and every day. I never hunger because there isn't enough. I have a warm and comfortable place to sleep at night, out of the elements. I have a safe job to go to. A car to drive. I can go to church without fear of being jailed. I can go to a doctor and get excellent care anytime I need it. I get cheap medicine with my amazing insurance. I have a great education and a degree! But, sadly, about 99% of the world cannot say that. We are all rich! We are blessed in ways we don't ever realize in America. We take everything for granted, because we have never had to go without. We are rich, all of us. We are richer than the rest of the world would ever dream to be. And so then we can all see ourselves in the story of the rich young ruler. But the question is, will we give it all up to follow Jesus, or will we shrug our shoulders and walk away, too afraid to give up what has made us so comfortable all these years for the prospect of something greater?
This question has been on my mind all morning, and a lot this past weekend. My husband and I put in an offer on a house yesterday. It is a beautiful house, great space and a perfect price. It makes sense. And the Lord has not put any stop signs or red lights in our way to show us that we are going the wrong way. But, Red Head and I are still hoping that the Lord will send us overseas to share His love with the lost world. We both have a heart for life long career missions and have been patiently (and impatiently) waiting for the Lord to show us when, where, and how to go. After we got back to our house last night after signing all of the papers for the house, I think it hit both of us - are we getting too comfortable in America? Will we still be ready at the drop of a hat to go wherever He sends us?
After some soul searching, I still believe the answer is yes. I still believe that even though it has been over a year since we have been overseas (and most of my Russian has been forgotten by now), I still believe that when He says Go! we will be ready to. Why? How could we give up everything that we have? All of our comforts? Being so close to our families? How could we take a young child with us to underdeveloped countries? To us, it is so simple. because the Lord has put an unmistakable call on our lives. He has given us a heart that breaks for the broken, the lost, the poor, those who have never heard Jesus' name before.
So, will buying a house keep us here, against the Lord's will? I don't think so. First of all, I think that if He wants us to go, we will go. He will remove every hindrance and open the doors that he wants us to walk through. But the house itself, will it make us too comfortable to see the needs around us? Will we become the rich young ruler? We will, if we try to do it in our own strength. But as we wait upon the Lord and trust in Him, He will be faithful. He always is. I see this house (or whichever one we end up in) as just another tool that the Lord will use in our lives. I know that we will learn so many lessons in trust as we become homeowners. But I also look forward to the times when we can open our doors, our home, and our hearts to those around us. To give them a good meal, a safe place to stay out of the storms of life, an encouraging home to be in, and plenty of love. I want people to crowd that huge kitchen, ready for food and fellowship. I want people to know that our doors are always open. I want to learn to minister to our community and to our brethren by opening up the doors of hospitality.
I can't wait. And when it is time, when the Lord gives us the word, we will sell our possessions, put the rest in storage or at our parent's houses, we will sell our home, and we will move, in faith, to wherever the Lord calls us. Whether our children are three weeks old or thirteen years old. Whether we have two or twenty kids. Our hearts are ready to be used and to be useful. And I am ready to be poured out as a drink offering to show others that freedom can be theirs- Christ is ready with open arms.
Are you ready for whatever the Lord calls you to? Are you getting too comfortable in the American dream? Don't be the rich young ruler. We may give up everything for His Kingdom, but we are promised more than we could ever image if we do. He is faithful. Even when we are not. Be ready. And don't be afraid to let those comforts fall by the wayside.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Oh, Let's Just Call it a Resolution!
If you read my post the other day about my desire to become the Coupon Queen of America in 2010, then you might remember my feelings towards New Years resolutions. They have never worked for me in the past, so I always think they are doomed to failure. But, you know what? I have never been married before and I have never been pregnant before so maybe, just maybe this is the year to accomplish a New Year's Resolution. My Red Head and Baby will be my good luck charms. :)
If you know me personally, you know that I happen to be quite anal about cleanliness. Not in a crazy way, but in the way that I would be horrified if someone dropped by my house when it was, well, untidy. (The first time that Red Head ever came to my house before we started dating, he kept saying everything was so clean and perfect and refused to sit down on anything because he didn't want to mess it up!) But, since being married, more than a few people have seen my house in an unfortunate state. (To which Red Head says, "It just makes people feel more comfortable, more at home!" Oh how I love that man!)
I don't think I was sufficiently ready for two full time jobs- my work outside the home and then my full time job at home as wife and homemaker. Many close friends have gasped at how relaxed my house has become since getting married. (Well, maybe they haven't audibly gasped, but I could see it in their faces!) You will often find Red Head's shoes lying in a pile by the front door, towels on the bathroom floor, dvds scattered around the tv, plates still sitting on the dining room table, and you will always, always, always find my kitchen sink FULL of dirty dishes. I realized this morning that it has been so long since we washed the dishes that I had no more spoons! Sad, I know.
So, in an effort to make life a little more comfortable for our growing family, I have devised a new cleaning schedule. I love to follow lists and schedules so I am hoping to trick myself into once again being the neat freak of Red Head's dreams. But I need your help- will you please hold me accountable to this list? Encourage me, give me hints and tricks, cheer me on and most especially, kick me in the booty when I start to fail because I don't want another New Year's Resolution down the drain!!!
Ok, so here is the list that I have come up with:
Everyday
Tidy- up each room
Wash dishes after meal
Pick up clothes and towels
Refill toilet paper holder
Monday
Laundry-Colors
Take out trash
Cut coupons
Tuesday
Fold clean clothes
Put away clean clothes
Spray down bathroom sink
and shower
Clean toilet
Change bathroom hand towel
Wednesday
Laundry- Whites
Dust
Vacuum
Sweep kitchen
Wipe down kitchen counters
and stove
Clean up spare room
Look up store sales circular
Thursday
Fold clean whites
Put away clean whites
Friday
Menu Plan
Grocery shop
Saturday
Change bed sheets
Collect all dirty towels
Costco run, if needed
Sunday
Laundry- Towels
Iron for the week
Want to join me in my quest for a no-stress, easy to do house cleaning by making your own schedule? Let me know! That would encourage my socks off!!
If you know me personally, you know that I happen to be quite anal about cleanliness. Not in a crazy way, but in the way that I would be horrified if someone dropped by my house when it was, well, untidy. (The first time that Red Head ever came to my house before we started dating, he kept saying everything was so clean and perfect and refused to sit down on anything because he didn't want to mess it up!) But, since being married, more than a few people have seen my house in an unfortunate state. (To which Red Head says, "It just makes people feel more comfortable, more at home!" Oh how I love that man!)
I don't think I was sufficiently ready for two full time jobs- my work outside the home and then my full time job at home as wife and homemaker. Many close friends have gasped at how relaxed my house has become since getting married. (Well, maybe they haven't audibly gasped, but I could see it in their faces!) You will often find Red Head's shoes lying in a pile by the front door, towels on the bathroom floor, dvds scattered around the tv, plates still sitting on the dining room table, and you will always, always, always find my kitchen sink FULL of dirty dishes. I realized this morning that it has been so long since we washed the dishes that I had no more spoons! Sad, I know.
So, in an effort to make life a little more comfortable for our growing family, I have devised a new cleaning schedule. I love to follow lists and schedules so I am hoping to trick myself into once again being the neat freak of Red Head's dreams. But I need your help- will you please hold me accountable to this list? Encourage me, give me hints and tricks, cheer me on and most especially, kick me in the booty when I start to fail because I don't want another New Year's Resolution down the drain!!!
Ok, so here is the list that I have come up with:
Everyday
Tidy- up each room
Wash dishes after meal
Pick up clothes and towels
Refill toilet paper holder
Monday
Laundry-Colors
Take out trash
Cut coupons
Tuesday
Fold clean clothes
Put away clean clothes
Spray down bathroom sink
and shower
Clean toilet
Change bathroom hand towel
Wednesday
Laundry- Whites
Dust
Vacuum
Sweep kitchen
Wipe down kitchen counters
and stove
Clean up spare room
Look up store sales circular
Thursday
Fold clean whites
Put away clean whites
Friday
Menu Plan
Grocery shop
Saturday
Change bed sheets
Collect all dirty towels
Costco run, if needed
Sunday
Laundry- Towels
Iron for the week
Want to join me in my quest for a no-stress, easy to do house cleaning by making your own schedule? Let me know! That would encourage my socks off!!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Deals, Deals, Deals
I do not necessarily believe in New Years Resolutions. That is probably because for the past several years, I always resolved to get in shape and tone up. I am 24 years old, how hard could it be? Well, the years have come and gone and am I toned? Am I in shape? That would be a resounding NO. I don't think that I am fat but I DO think that I have lots of room to improve. I didn't even work out before my own wedding, so how could I think some silly New Years Resolution would be enough to get me running? But, I digress. This is not about weight loss. This is about a New Years hope or dream, not so much a restrictive resolution. It is my desire for 2010 to become the new Coupon Queen of America. I have seen so many news stories and books on ladies who can buy $100 worth of groceries for a mere quarter. I want to learn from these women, and then take over their queenly thrones as the most stealthy, accomplished, and frugal coupon cutting machine ever!
Ok, I might be taking this just a little too far, but I love the thrill of saving money. It is a trait I learned from my mother. She was a coupon clipper while I was growing up and I used to love sorting through her coupons, looking at the pictures and dreaming of the day that I would be the mommy cutting the coupons and saving the money. Ok, let's face it - I was a strange child. :)
So, to keep me accountable to my coupon dreams, I am going to occasionally post my newest deals. After going through the Kroger add for this week and sorting though my new coupon collection (Thanks to my mother!), here are my deals for the week. And remember, the Eat From Your Pantry Challenge is this coming week at my house so hopefully my basket won't be too full...
Russet potatoes: 5lb bag for $1.69
Rotisserie Chicken: $4.99
Kroger Shredded Cheese: 3 for $5 or $1.67 ea
Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls: $1 - with coupons, I will get 4 cans for $2.10
Pillsbury Crescent Rolls: $1- with coupons, I will get 5 cans for $2.70
Chef Boyardee Pasta: $1- with my coupon, I will get it for 40 cents!
Apples: 99 cents/ lb
Tomatoes: $1.49/ lb
Add in a loaf of bread, some lunch meat and milk and we are ready for the week!
Happy shopping and more importantly, happy eating!
Ok, I might be taking this just a little too far, but I love the thrill of saving money. It is a trait I learned from my mother. She was a coupon clipper while I was growing up and I used to love sorting through her coupons, looking at the pictures and dreaming of the day that I would be the mommy cutting the coupons and saving the money. Ok, let's face it - I was a strange child. :)
So, to keep me accountable to my coupon dreams, I am going to occasionally post my newest deals. After going through the Kroger add for this week and sorting though my new coupon collection (Thanks to my mother!), here are my deals for the week. And remember, the Eat From Your Pantry Challenge is this coming week at my house so hopefully my basket won't be too full...
Russet potatoes: 5lb bag for $1.69
Rotisserie Chicken: $4.99
Kroger Shredded Cheese: 3 for $5 or $1.67 ea
Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls: $1 - with coupons, I will get 4 cans for $2.10
Pillsbury Crescent Rolls: $1- with coupons, I will get 5 cans for $2.70
Chef Boyardee Pasta: $1- with my coupon, I will get it for 40 cents!
Apples: 99 cents/ lb
Tomatoes: $1.49/ lb
Add in a loaf of bread, some lunch meat and milk and we are ready for the week!
Happy shopping and more importantly, happy eating!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Eat From the Pantry Challenge
Crystal over at Money Saving Moms has a great idea to kick off the new year - The Eat From Your Pantry Challenge
Check it out here:
http://www.moneysavingmom.com/money_saving_mom/2009/12/eat-from-the-pantry-challenge-my-goals-and-plans-and-come-link-up-yours-too.html
I've decided that it is high time we start chowing down on allllll the food that we have accumulated over the past few months. You can tell that I have been in hibernation mode because I have stocked our house FULL of food. And then I go to the grocery store and get MORE food! So, this coming week, we will be eating from our pantry. Here are the rules we will follow:
1. I will only buy dairy, produce, and lunch necessities this week from the grocery store.
2. We will cook our meals at home every night this coming week instead of eating out.
3. Our meals will be prepared from what is already at home.
Want to join in our challenge? Join us and let me know how you do!!
The Act(ion) of Submission
My husband (from now on I will call him Red Head) and I have been together for almost three years. We have been married for almost nine months. And boy have I learned a few things since that first date...
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. " Ephesians 5:22-24
This is the single most baffling piece of Scripture I have found concerning relationships. And it haunts me, daily. Although I have a million examples of this being true in my own life, I'd like to share my newest example which came just hours ago.
My husband and I are expecting our first child at the end of July. We are thrilled beyond words but we also realize that there is a lot of work to do before this new one joins our family. One big thing we are working on is buying our first home. We are currently renting a house near the university we both graduated from and although it has been a wonderful first home for our new family, we are in desperate need of space. The baby, who we lovingly refer to as Jiji (which means baby in a Central Asian language), is going to need a room some places to play! So, we have started our house search with a vengeance and have thankfully already been preapproved. I started noticing that my husband and I were choosing homes in two very different locations. And therein lies the problem- he wants one area, I want another and neither of us wants to budge. Everything came to ahead this morning when we got the preapproval information from our mortgage company and the whole deal suddenly became much more real. We can really get the money, we can really buy a house now. But where? Which house? Which area? Which neighborhood? Which school district? The questions were suddenly innumerable. And that of course turned into a huge fight.
I must tell you now, I have the most incredible husband to ever walk the face of this earth. Anyone who can put up with me, love me, forgive me, deal with me, calm me down, talk sense into me, and just plain handle me for the rest of his life deserves more awards and accolades than I can say. He is amazing, loving, thoughtful, caring, trustworthy, patient, forgiving, wonderful. That is my husband. So, when I tell you that we got into a huge fight about this house hunting issue, you can safely and reasonably assume that this fight consisted of my yelling and his calmness. Which drives me crazy. He is calm when I am anything but calm. As you can see, we are a perfect duo. A perfect compliment to one another.
I tried so hard to tell Red Head that I am right! I am the voice of reason! You NEED to listen to me! What I want is best for us! I know more about this than you do!
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. " Ephesians 5:22-24
This is the single most baffling piece of Scripture I have found concerning relationships. And it haunts me, daily. Although I have a million examples of this being true in my own life, I'd like to share my newest example which came just hours ago.
My husband and I are expecting our first child at the end of July. We are thrilled beyond words but we also realize that there is a lot of work to do before this new one joins our family. One big thing we are working on is buying our first home. We are currently renting a house near the university we both graduated from and although it has been a wonderful first home for our new family, we are in desperate need of space. The baby, who we lovingly refer to as Jiji (which means baby in a Central Asian language), is going to need a room some places to play! So, we have started our house search with a vengeance and have thankfully already been preapproved. I started noticing that my husband and I were choosing homes in two very different locations. And therein lies the problem- he wants one area, I want another and neither of us wants to budge. Everything came to ahead this morning when we got the preapproval information from our mortgage company and the whole deal suddenly became much more real. We can really get the money, we can really buy a house now. But where? Which house? Which area? Which neighborhood? Which school district? The questions were suddenly innumerable. And that of course turned into a huge fight.
I must tell you now, I have the most incredible husband to ever walk the face of this earth. Anyone who can put up with me, love me, forgive me, deal with me, calm me down, talk sense into me, and just plain handle me for the rest of his life deserves more awards and accolades than I can say. He is amazing, loving, thoughtful, caring, trustworthy, patient, forgiving, wonderful. That is my husband. So, when I tell you that we got into a huge fight about this house hunting issue, you can safely and reasonably assume that this fight consisted of my yelling and his calmness. Which drives me crazy. He is calm when I am anything but calm. As you can see, we are a perfect duo. A perfect compliment to one another.
I tried so hard to tell Red Head that I am right! I am the voice of reason! You NEED to listen to me! What I want is best for us! I know more about this than you do!
... and boy was I wrong.
I could hear myself saying all of these terrible things to my husband. I could hear the disrespectful words seeping out of my smug attitude. And the weight of it all fell on me just moments after I hung up on him for the fifteenth time... submission.
The LORD tells us plainly in Ephesians that we are to submit to our husbands just as we submit to Him. Ouch. That sounds so nice and lovely until you realize that you are submitting to another human being! Someone who has faults and deficiencies. Someone who sins! It can be hard enough to submit to the LORD and He is perfect! But submit to an imperfect person? How on earth am I supposed to do that?
Well, how are we able to do anything that the LORD asks of us - He supplies the ability and the heart to do it. Ephesians 5 goes on to say that just as Christ is head of the church, our husband is our head. And just as the church submits to the authority of Christ, we are submit to the authority of our husband. But here is the most important part to me- I am not to submit to my husband because he is smarter than me or because he is better than me. I am to submit to him because the LORD says to. End of story. Game over. The end. It does not matter how smart or dumb my husband is, it doesn't matter if I know more about a particular subject, I am to submit to him. You may be saying, "But WHY?! That is so unfair when I know more!" Well, true, you may know more about something, but you are not the head. Your husband is the head. And the final decisions for your family rest on him. And the consequences of those decisions, good or bad, rest on him, too.
So, today, after my huge meltdown over neighborhoods and school districts, and how my husband just didn't understand... I had to let go. I had to. I cannot read the Word and skip over this part. I can't pretend that this passage isn't there. My husband is my head. That is his God-ordained roll. And instead of fighting him for that leadership position, I had to step back, take up the banner of submission, and ask for my husband's forgiveness. Red Head is now back in charge, his rightful place as my husband and as the head of our household. He is now the principal house hunter, deal finder, information researcher, and overall decision maker. Yes, I know he will ask for my help along the way, which I appreciate. And yes, I know that he will ask for my opinions along the way, which I adore about him. My husband, the godly man that he is, is in control, but he knows that the LORD has given me to him for a reason. I can help him with my knowledge, expertise, and intuition. Separately, we are not a family, not a household. We are nothing on our own. But together, we are one. The LORD, Red Head, and I are one. The math may be confusing, but it's true. And it's high time that I start supporting him in a way that shows him and the world that he is my head and it is my honor to submit to him.
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