Proverbs 31 Challenge- Day Four

It seems like forever since I have been able to get on here! I miss writing but now I am afraid that the long absence will cause me to have writers block. It has been a pretty crazy two weeks for our family. After getting over my headache issues, we have been swamped with one thing after another. I think Red Head and I have only had one night at home together all week! We are trying to make the most of these last few months of just the two of us and spend time with as many people as possible since our schedules won't be quiet as flexible when Baby comes along. It has been busy but so fun! And now, it is time to roll up my sleeves and catch up on The Challenge!

Day Four

"She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands." Proverbs 31:13

This verse has been giving me a hard time. Honestly, I don't completely understand how it exactly relates to us in 2010, when we buy most of our clothes rather than making them by hand. But, I will try to get through this with the Lord's help!

We all know that wool is the undercoat of sheep that has been used for centuries to weave fabric. Don't you just love how warm a wool sweater is in the winter? But, you may not have heard of flax before. It is a plant which is really fibrous, making it great for spinning into yarn. Egypt has been known for it's excellent crops of flax. Why do you think we all love Egyptian cotton sheets? They grow the best flax!

So, the beginning of verse thirteen says that the virtuous wife seeks out wool and flax, the two big materials that you need for making clothes. She seeks out and selects the best quality for her family. She doesn't pick the tattered, worn, or grimy. She picks the strong and durable. She is finding the best quality materials to use for making clothing for her family, and also to sell to others as we will see later in the chapter.

Does this mean that if we want to be virtuous wives that we have to make our family's clothing? No, not necessarily. But I think it wouldn't hurt to know how to sew. I can't say that I would enjoy wearing homemade jeans or a blouse I put together all by myself. And Scripture isn't telling us that we can't buy and wear store bought clothes! But, have you ever been shopping and seen something that you know you could make at home? And for a lot cheaper? My sister, mother, and I have said that so often. I would even go so far as to take pictures of things I wanted to recreate later after trip to Hobby Lobby. Very often, we can make things at home for a lot cheaper than what we could buy in a store. Aprons, children's clothing, curtains, decorations, there are so many things that are easy to learn how to sew or put together. Think of all the fun you could have working on crafts and saving money! That sounds like a winning combination to me!

The second part of the verse says that she willingly works with her hands. She delights in working with her hands, it is a pleasure. So often, I think that "working with my hands" in things like doing the dishes is just a meaningless chore that I have to get done. Washing clothes, cleaning the house, doing the bills- aren't they all just mind-numbing tasks that we just have to get done? I don't think it has to be. I think we can cultivate an attitude of delight and pleasure when we work with our hands. If you break it down, maybe that will help a little: Those dishes that are currently piling up in my sink are an eyesore, and if I leave them any longer, the kitchen is going to start to stink. (Remember, I don't have a dishwasher so my two hands are responsible for every dish!) I know this task will take my at least thirty to forty-five minutes and there are so many other things that I could do with that time that are much more pleasant. But, there those dishes sit. And the pile just keeps growing and growing. However, if I work on cultivating an attitude that delights in working with my hands, I might see those dishes a little differently. I want my husband to eat, I certainly don't want him to starve. But all the cups and forks and spoons are dirty. And all the bowls and pans to cook in,- they are all dirty, hidden under the dish pile. But wait, I could view doing the dishes as aiding my husband in getting a nutritious meal. I can make it possible for him to eat a good dinner. And with the pile gone, the kitchen would look and smell better which would be pleasant for him. And if the dishes are gone by the time he comes home, he won't feel the burden to wash them for me even after he has had a hard and long day at work. Wow, that makes the thought of washing dishes so much more pleasant- knowing that it isn't just a chore that has to get done, it is a service I can do for my husband and for our home!

The challenge today: Next time you're out shopping, think about if you could recreate the items that you have your eye on. Could you do it cheaper? Don't be afraid to try! And be willing to work with your hands! If there is something around the house that needs to be done, take care of it yourself, don't wait for your husband to do it! Also, work on cultivating a spirit that delights and takes pleasure in working with your hands. Change your mindset about all those chores!

This is a HUGE challenge for me today. That story about the dishes, well, it's a true story! I hate dishes more than anything but it is high time that I start cultivating a spirit that enjoys working with my hands!

I'm back!

Thank you all so much for the prayers over my sickly body this past week. No one tells you that pregnancy is going to be so hard and have so many unexpected bumps in the road! But, thanks to the Lord, I am finally starting to feel better and those brutal headaches are dissipating.

Today, instead of continuing on in the Proverbs 31 Challenge, I just want to say something very simple. I'm not always full of words to say and today this is all that my heart can put into words.

One day, when we see God face to face, I want to hear God say to my husband, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Master." As his wife and helper, I cannot imagine a greater joy.

Now it is my job as his helper to encourage my husband to obey the Word and to pursue God's will for his life. It's time to get to work.

Sick sick sick

I am at home sick today so Day Four of the Proverbs 31 Challenge will be postponed until I am back on my feet. Prayers are appreciated. And don't forget to pray for my precious husband. Having to put up with a sick me is probably more like a prison sentence, but that man is an angel. 

Proverbs 31 Challenge- Day Three

Happy snow day again to all of you who are blessed enough to live in the Memphis area. While I am back at work today, I am trying to remember that there is still snow on the ground and that is reason enough to celebrate. Seriously, I love snow. For those of you who don't know, we got a surprise snow yesterday in the very early morning hours so I got to stay home from work and enjoy the snow with my hubby. I hope everyone had a nice and relaxing day like we did! But now, on to...

Day Three

"She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:12

Ok, ladies, if this verses doesn't knock you in your stomach a bit, you need to look into a mirror! A friend of mine, whom I lovingly refer to as my twin because we are so much alike, reminded me yesterday that Proverbs 31 is "not a yardstick for women to measure themselves by, but the goal in which all women should be moving to." Remember that today and let's get moving towards that goal!

The dictionary defines "good" as morally excellent, virtuous (does that sound familiar?), of high quality, well behaved, kind, genuine, sound, reliable, responsible, beneficial, cheerful, free of distress or pain, agreeable, pleasant, and a million other ways. Just take a look at those few descriptive words for a moment. Do you resemble any of them in regards to your husband? Most of them? None of them?

Now let's look at the definition of evil: morally wrong or bad, wicked, harmful, bad character or conduct, marked by anger or irritability, harm, mischief, and a lot more. Do any of these qualities sound like you in regards to your relationship with your husband? The words in bold were done on purpose- because they remind me of myself. Ouch.

The Word says here to do your husband good and not evil all the days of your life. Every single day. There are no exceptions cited here. That means to do him good (and not evil) even when you are having the world's worst day, when you are cramping and bloating with PMS, when you are pregnant and losing your mind, when he is mean to you, and even when he doesn't deserve it. When you are a newlywed. When you've been married ten years, fifty years, and sixty years. All of our days. Seven days a week. No holidays. Does that sound like a full time job to you? Me too. But let's go a little bit deeper into what this really means for us.

I found an explanation of this verse that I really like here. It says, "The virtuous woman deals out to her husband that which is good. She dishes out to him and serves him that which is good and not evil. She wants only God's highest and best for him. Her life and her deeds are a constant benefit and blessing to her husband. In doing good to her husband she is consistent. She doesn't serve him that which is good one day and that which is evil the next day. Her husband can count on her to do him good and to be a blessing to him. He can count on her to do this today, five days from now, one year from now, ten years from now, and all the days of her life. She is not up and down, hot and cold. Her godliness is marked with consistency. " That sounds awesome to me, the kind of wife and woman I want to be.

We are called to good to and for our husbands. But what on earth does that mean? I don't think I can just give you a list of good things to do for your husband every day. You know him better than anyone else. What would encourage him? How can you best bless him each day? Is there something you can help him with? Take over for him so he can spend his time on other things? I think we should sit down, brainstorm, and come up with ways to good for our husbands. Ways to bless them. And while we are doing that, I think it is only appropriate that we also brainstorm things that we need to stop doing that would be considered doing evil to our husbands. No, I'm not saying you have a voodoo doll of your husband hidden somewhere or something outlandishly evil, but sin is sin. Do you speak negatively about your husband to others? Do you put him down in public or in private? Do you spend the family money unwisely or selfishly? Do you watch things that you know he would disapprove of? Are you constantly angry at him or causing strife in your marriage? Make a list! Write it down! And then give both of these lists to the Lord so that He can do the work through you! But don't think that this little exercise won't cost you anything. If you have been following along with is the first two days, you know it is going to cost you something. Your pride, your hidden sin, your time, your heart. There is a price to pay. But with the Lord, you'll always have what it takes to pay the price, because He has already paid the ultimate price for us!

The challenge today: Make those lists! Write down what in your marriage is evilness that needs to be dealt with. And write down ways you can do your husband good. And remember, this is an everyday thing. Not just Valentine's Day or on the weekends or when you feel like it. May we be the women who do our husbands good and not evil all of our lives!

Here is a sneak peek at a few things from my list. My hubby reads this blog so I will only give you a snippet, I don't to spoil surprises for him!

To do Him Good:
Have his shirts ironed and lunches packed in the morning
To continue to "frugalize" my expenses
Send him encouraging texts each day
Read with him everyday
Encourage him 24/7
Ask questions!
Play the guitar and sing with him
Keep the furnace on as low as possible :)
Make friend time a priority
Get out of my comfort zone
Dance in public with him
Drink as much water as humanly possible
Leave my bad attitude and complaining at the door!

And Not Evil
Stop blaming him for my waking up late (ridiculous, I know!)
Keep unwholesome words out of my mouth and our conversations (Eph. 4:29)
Set nothing evil before my eyes (Psa 101:3)
Do not turn on my laptop at any point before reading the Word in the morning
Don't watch or listen to things I know he would not approve of
Divert my eyes from any other man, attractive or not
Don't complain or grumble
Be patient!!

I hope that you all are encouraged by the Lord today. Thanks for spending a few moments with me on this journey! May the Lord shine His face upon us and grow us!

Proverbs 31 Challenge- Day Two

For any of you who were disappointed by my absence and lack of Day Two yesterday, I apologize. It was not my best of days. It was more like a pregnant-hormonal-meltdown kind of a day. But, alas, day two has arrived....

Day Two

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain." Proverbs 31:11


This is what the Matthew Henry Concise Commentary has to say about this verse: "She can be trusted, and he will leave such a wife to manage for him. He is happy in her. And she makes it her constant business to do him good." I love this. Who wouldn't want their husbands to feel this way about them?

Apparently it was a common ancient practice that men would lock up the valuables in their homes to keep their own wives from stealing from them. I can't imagine Red Head locking up his valuables when he left the house or went to sleep, being so distrustful of me. Though it seems hard to imagine in our culture, it was a reality for many in the past. This verse is exhorting women to be much more than the normal, run of the mill wife who may or may not steal from her husband. It is calling us to be women in whom our husbands hearts can trust wholly and completely.

Are you giving your husband reasons to trust you? Are you wise with your finances or do you take every opportunity to run to Target for the newest nothing that you simply can't live without? Are you wise with your time or do you spend hours in front of the tv, computer, etc. instead of spending time talking with your spouse? Are you wise about the company you keep? The things you read and watch? These are tough questions but we have to ask them of ourselves if we are to become modern day Proverbs 31 women. And I mean that in the least corny way possible. :)

Like Matthew Henry's commentary, do you make it your constant business to do your husband good? I will be the first to admit that I fail horribly at this. Most of the time, what I mean for good gets diverted by my own selfish nature. Let him pick up his own socks! That will teach him! But what does that really mean, to constantly make it your business to do your husband good? To me, it means tempering each action with the thought of how it will affect my husband. Will it hurt him? Honor him? And it also means transforming our selfish me-centered minds into minds that think about our husbands FIRST. Ouch, that one is t-o-u-g-h. Think about ways you can bless your husband. Whether it is doing something small like ironing his shirt for work or making his favorite dinner after a stressful day at the office, think about his needs and wants. Now, you need to know that this is going to be uncomfortable. It is going to mean letting go of your wants in place of his. Putting his needs before your own. Make it your constant business to do him good. Dream up ways to do this during the day. Plan. And then put those plans into action!

When Red Head and I got married, I took on his last name. I did not keep mine. It isn't my middle name, either. Although I love my maiden name, it was important for me to create this new identity with my husband. We both left our own families and became a new family, we became one. I think about my new last name a lot, even though it isn't so new anymore. To me, there is great pride in being called by my husband's name. I am forever identified by his name now. I have a new identity because of our covenantal marriage. And now that I am called by his name, I carry the weight of it. I have the power to bring honor or shame to our family and to my husband's name. Whether you know it or not, your husband can and will be measured by the woman and wife that you are. You have the power to make him more honorable and worthy in the public eyes and you have the power to disgrace him like no one else can. I don't say this to scare you, but to show you how powerful your influence in your husbands life really is.

I will give you one small example. I try to pack a lunch for my husband each day so that he doesn't have to buy a meal at work. This is partly because I'm frugal, but mostly because my mother taught me that is just what you do. She made lunches for us and daddy. It was never a "fend for yourself" culture in our home growing up and that's not what I want for our new family! I feel like a million dollars when my Red Head comes home and tells me about how all the guys at work ask him, "What's for lunch today? What did your wife pack you? My wife never makes lunch for me!" That is the best reward to me- not that I received praise, but that my husband's colleagues saw just one more reason to respect him- because he has a wife that adores him and does a simple task like making lunch for him.

Finally, what does it mean that he will have no lack of gain? For me, this goes back to finances first. When we got married, I quickly learned that Target could no longer be my best friend. Not if I wanted a marriage that lasted. Although it has been a hard and long process of working through my own consumer mindset, I have come to find that being frugal in spending is a big deal to my husband. I love the high fives I get when I tell Red Head that I got our loaf of bread for free this week with coupons or that I trimmed another $5 off of the weekly grocery bill. And this is just one more way that I show my husband that he can trust me with his whole heart (and his wallet). Are you taking steps to be frugal? If not, why not start now? It doesn't mean being stingy or a scrooge with money. It means being smart with your money- do you really need those new jeans or another trip to starbucks this week? We live by the standard of being frugal with ourselves and generous with others. And in turn, the Lord is ALWAYS generous with us; not because we deserve it but because He is such a loving Father.

The challenge today: Search out ways to show your husband that you are a woman worth trusting. Be wise with your finances, time, and heart. Even better, ask him what areas he sees that you could improve upon. And don't be mad if he gives you an honest answer! Be humble and take his advice. Rest assured that your husband loves you and wants the best for you, and sometimes that might mean stepping on your toes. Do not lash back at him with things he can improve upon! If you aren't willing to hear the answer, then don't ask the question! Also, make it your constant business to do him good. Dream up ways to do this during the day. Plan. And then put those plans into action! Thirdly, are you adding to or subtracting from your husband? Seek ways to build him up, bring him honor. If there are areas where you are bringing or could possible bring dishonor to him, deal with those issues. And seek ways to add to his wealth by thrift. Talk about making a budget if you don't already have one. And remember, a virtuous woman is hard to find. Will you be one of the diamonds in the ruff?

Proverbs 31 Challenge- Day One

Now I know that there are some of you who read the title of this post that immediately grumbled within yourselves, "Ugh, Proverbs 31. How many times have we heard that one before? Get some new material! That is so overused and way too outdated!" Well, sorry ladies, but it happens to be one of my favorite passages in Scripture, even though it is like getting punched in the stomach every time I read it. There is just SO much to this chapter and the section on "The Virtuous Wife." Since I have read these verses a million and three times and still have yet to really internalize much of it, I have decided to start a 21 day (or longer) challenge not just to merely learn the verses, but also to put each of them into practice. If you would, I would love for you to join me. You don't have to be married, you don't have to be a mother, you just need to be female. :)

Each day, I will have one verse from Proverbs 31:10-31 and some simple ideas on what it means and how we can live it out!

Day 1

"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10

The dictionary defines "virtuous" as morally excellent, upright, good, chaste. Whether or not these words describe you now, they can. Even if you don't have a "virtuous" past, there is still hope! We as Christian women are called to be virtuous, that means we need to be chaste, morally excellent. To me, that means being above reproach, or keeping yourself from any form of evil that could ensnare you. That means dressing modestly so as not cause a man to stumble by looking at you lustfully, speaking words of truth and not gossiping, being careful of the images and thoughts that you take in from the media (especially the moves and TV shows we watch and the magazines we read). It also means respecting your husband at all times- in your actions and words with other people, especially men. Now, like I said, you don't have to be married for Proverbs 31 to speak to you. Even if you are single, it is still your job to honor your husband, even if you don't have one yet! Most people do get married, and as a young woman, it is up to you to honor your future husband by keeping pure relationships. And for those who don't get married, it is STILL your job to respect your husband. Isaiah 54:5 says, "For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name..." So, ladies, there is no getting away from that point, sorry!

Being virtuous encompasses a million different aspects of our lives. We must search out every facet of our lives and discover if we are being virtuous in those areas. If you are- amen, sister! If not, by the grace of the Lord, He can transform you if you are willing.

Why does verse ten ask "who can find a virtuous wife?" Well, probably because they are so few and far between. You don't have to look far to find sad stories and examples of women who steal, cheat, lie, murder, and destroy their own families. Sure, most women walking down the street or sitting in the pews with you in church aren't going home and literally destroying their homes or families, but I bet if you look deep enough, you will see that we all have destructive characteristics. Left untamed, those could be the very downfall of our lives, marriages, and families.

"For her worth is far above rubies." Or in our society, we might say she is worth more than diamonds, Range Rovers, real estate, iPhones, or whatever else we place high value on. The virtuous woman is worth way more than the most precious of stones. That means she is extremely useful and valuable. Are you useful or valuable to the people around you? Do you sit around like a bump on a pickle all day or do you create value, working and helping? A pretty face won't make you valuable. Your service to others will.

The challenge today: Ask the Lord to help you search out your heart to find destructive patterns and behaviors. Give them to Him. No matter how small or inconsequential they may seem to you, I promise you they aren't. It all starts with one glance at the sinful fruit. Also, search out all the different facets of your life and personality and seek out ways to be a virtuous woman in each. And finally, are you valuable or useful to others? If not, seek ways to help others and add value to other people's lives in the ways that God has gifted you.

It's Official, I'm Pregnant! ....Duh!

Ok, so it isn't a surprise that I am pregnant, seeing as how I am already in the second trimester. But, I wasn't expecting to feel so pregnant today. Sure the nausea has drastically reduced and I can finally keep my eyes open past eight o'clock, but still, this is a different feeling. I am currently sitting at my desk with my pants completely unbuttoned and they still feel tight enough to cut off my circulation. I am as thirsty as a water hog and I've eaten just about everything I could get my hands on so far today. I have endless heartburn and indigestion and I can't stop looking at my registry on the Target website. It's official, I am so pregnant. And if all that isn't enough to convince me, I have discovered the craziest craving yet: barbecue sauce. Straight from the jar. My husband walked in on me while I was in the kitchen this past weekend with the jar in one hand and sauce on my face. :)

So, guess what me and the Red Head will be doing this weekend? That's right, we are going shopping for maternity clothes! Have I ever mentioned how awesome my hubby is?

In other news, we have a contract on the house of our dreams. And now begins the waiting process as we await what the owner's bank and mortgage company have to say.... meanwhile, I am already picking out wallpaper and picturing how our furniture will sit in each room.

Now that I am getting some energy back, I have been able to do a bit more around the house than I have been able to in the past three months. That includes cooking dinner, doing laundry, but not much else. I have a car full of boxes, just waiting to start the packing process but not enough guts to enter the dreaded "spare room" that has become a land fill of everything I didn't have time to (or want to) put up in the first place. I must conquer that Mount Everest soon!

With Valentine's Day coming up, I am racking my brain for ideas for my Red Head. In the past, I always made him creative Valentine's Day gifts. Just because we are married now, I don't want to just settle for some store bought gift. Any ideas to help me out, ladies?

Lastly, I have been dying to go to Easy Way for the past week. The snow and ice kept me from going last weekend so I have rescheduled for this Friday. I cannot begin to explain how excited I am about some fresh fruits and veggies!! More to come soon!