Just so you know how awesome the Lord is, just an hour after I had published my last post, I got the phone call from the realtors with our closing date and information. How cool is that?!?!
Since then, we closed on the house, have completely destroyed it (taking down two layers of wallpaper that had been painted over in just about every room) and are in the process of cleaning it today so that we can move in tonight. We have to turn over they keys to our landlord to our old house by Friday so this is going to be a jam-packed week. Thankfully, we are blessed to have some amazing family and friends who are helping out in the process and taking a lot of the load off of us. It is going to be busy busy busy here on out but I am still so overwhelmed that everything is coming together and that we have a new home to sleep in tonight!
This house will be our Ebenezer as long as we are there, to show our children and all of those around us how faithful the Lord is and how He provided for us at just the right time. We are forever humbled and forever grateful that our God reigns.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Goodbye, Old Friend
This is where it ends. This is where I say goodbye. This is where I leave all of this mess behind me. This is where I drop off all the baggage and then keep on driving towards the sunset. This is where I lay down the weight that has been on my back for far too long, weighing me down, giving me aches and pains that I can’t even begin to describe. This is the curtain call. Goodbye and goodnight. Please don’t come back.
In January, we signed a contract for our dream house. In March, we heard we got the house. We let our landlord know that the end of April would also be the end of our leasing his house. And now, with nine days left before we have to hand over our keys, we still don’t have a closing date. Everything comes down to one tiny piece of twenty pound copy paper. All someone has to do is push the print button and then this whole thing would be over. We would be in our new house, not facing the task of crashing with family for a few weeks and having to move twice. Just one little pointer finger, clicking the print button. That’s all that is left. I cannot begin to explain how much time, energy, frustration, tears, and emotions I have spent because of that one tiny finger printing out that one tiny piece of paper.
But today, that all ends.
No, not because we finally have a closing date. In my head, I’m convinced we never will. At least not any time soon. No, it all ends today because I. Give. Up. I’m done. Finished. Finito. Draw the curtains and turn out the lights.
At twenty-four years old, I have probably spent at least a few years of my life just worrying. I am a worrier. I worry. About everything and nothing. It is ridiculous. And yes, it is a problem. I get away with it a lot because I am a girl, and even more so now because I am a mother. But what does the Word say about worry? “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:27. What does my worrying accomplish? Nothing. Does it make the situation better or easier or fix the problems that I am worrying about? No, it sure doesn’t. All it does is eat me up inside. I could give you lots of research on how worry negatively affects our physical and mental health, but I sure can’t find even one instance where worrying helped fix a situation. So why do I hold on to my worry like it is my favorite toy or safety blanket? I’m not sure. But I think maybe it is because it’s something that I’ve always had with me, and I don’t know how to get through a trying situation without it. So maybe it is my safety blanket.
But when I can’t give up my worry, because I need it to help me through a situation, what does that say about my relationship with the Lord? It seems I can hold onto that tightly or loosely in any given situation. I can really trust the Lord about something, or seem to not trust Him much at all. But worry? Oh no, I need that. Can’t survive without that. Now does that sound right? Not to me, either. That doesn’t sound like someone who is walking in the Spirit. That sounds like someone trapped in a sin pattern that they don’t even think of as sin. But no matter what I think, sin is sin. So is my worrying sin? Yeah it is. Why? Because it is the fruit of me not trusting the Lord. It is the picture that shows the whole world that I am not loving the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, strength, and might. I am loving myself more. And what I want. And how I want the situations to work out.
And today, that is exactly what I want to leave behind. I want to teach our children Deuteronomy 6:4 and not be a hypocrite. I want to trust. With all my heart. Trust in the midst of the storms. When it doesn’t make sense. When there seems to be no earthly way for things to work out. When all hope is lost, I want to trust. And not worry.
I know that just pronouncing this over will not be enough to make it really over. It is going to be a battle. One that I will have to fight every single day until I see the Lord face to face. But I think it is a worthy fight. A noble one. I want to say goodbye to the girl who worries 24/7 and say hello to a deeper, stronger, healthier relationship with the Lord. I want to trust Him. Like the children’s song says, “He’s got the whole world in His Hands.” The rest of Matthew chapter 6 goes something like this: "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” ( vs. 28-34)
My Heavenly Father knows that I need a home to live in next weekend. He knows. Better than I do. He knows my whole story. And He knows exactly what He is going to do with this chapter. I’ve never gone without a home, He has always provided for me, and I don’t think He is going to stop any time soon. His Word says that He delights in giving good gifts to His children. So I will choose to believe that. It may be harder than worrying, but I think it sounds a lot better.
From now on, when my husband calls, I don’t want to hope that it is just to tell me we got a closing date. I don’t want to well up in tears the next time a sweet friend asks me if we’ve heard any updates on the house. I don’t want to wait my the phone anymore. Or call everyone I know to ask their opinion on the matter and how they would feel if they were in this situation. And don’t want to get my hopes up that the Lord will just magically give us the blessing now that I have “given this up.” I know it doesn’t work like that. I want to trust. And trust and trust and trust and NOT worry. If you know me personally, you know this is almost like telling the birds not to fly around. Me not worry? My husband may not recognize me! And hey, maybe that’s a good thing!
So, with the Lord’s help, I’m letting go. With His help, I’m taking His hand, trusting that He is in control. He has been down this road before so I’m trusting Him to navigate. Goodbye, worry. I won’t miss you. I hope not to think about you. Please don’t call, don’t write, don’t try to reach me at all. I’m out of the country. For good. No offense, but I hope to never see your ugly mug again. Goodbye, worry. It’s the end for you and me. I’m just not that into you. It’s not you, it’s me. We’re better off as friends- no wait, I think we’d be better off as strangers. So long, farewell, goodbye.
In January, we signed a contract for our dream house. In March, we heard we got the house. We let our landlord know that the end of April would also be the end of our leasing his house. And now, with nine days left before we have to hand over our keys, we still don’t have a closing date. Everything comes down to one tiny piece of twenty pound copy paper. All someone has to do is push the print button and then this whole thing would be over. We would be in our new house, not facing the task of crashing with family for a few weeks and having to move twice. Just one little pointer finger, clicking the print button. That’s all that is left. I cannot begin to explain how much time, energy, frustration, tears, and emotions I have spent because of that one tiny finger printing out that one tiny piece of paper.
But today, that all ends.
No, not because we finally have a closing date. In my head, I’m convinced we never will. At least not any time soon. No, it all ends today because I. Give. Up. I’m done. Finished. Finito. Draw the curtains and turn out the lights.
At twenty-four years old, I have probably spent at least a few years of my life just worrying. I am a worrier. I worry. About everything and nothing. It is ridiculous. And yes, it is a problem. I get away with it a lot because I am a girl, and even more so now because I am a mother. But what does the Word say about worry? “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:27. What does my worrying accomplish? Nothing. Does it make the situation better or easier or fix the problems that I am worrying about? No, it sure doesn’t. All it does is eat me up inside. I could give you lots of research on how worry negatively affects our physical and mental health, but I sure can’t find even one instance where worrying helped fix a situation. So why do I hold on to my worry like it is my favorite toy or safety blanket? I’m not sure. But I think maybe it is because it’s something that I’ve always had with me, and I don’t know how to get through a trying situation without it. So maybe it is my safety blanket.
But when I can’t give up my worry, because I need it to help me through a situation, what does that say about my relationship with the Lord? It seems I can hold onto that tightly or loosely in any given situation. I can really trust the Lord about something, or seem to not trust Him much at all. But worry? Oh no, I need that. Can’t survive without that. Now does that sound right? Not to me, either. That doesn’t sound like someone who is walking in the Spirit. That sounds like someone trapped in a sin pattern that they don’t even think of as sin. But no matter what I think, sin is sin. So is my worrying sin? Yeah it is. Why? Because it is the fruit of me not trusting the Lord. It is the picture that shows the whole world that I am not loving the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, strength, and might. I am loving myself more. And what I want. And how I want the situations to work out.
And today, that is exactly what I want to leave behind. I want to teach our children Deuteronomy 6:4 and not be a hypocrite. I want to trust. With all my heart. Trust in the midst of the storms. When it doesn’t make sense. When there seems to be no earthly way for things to work out. When all hope is lost, I want to trust. And not worry.
I know that just pronouncing this over will not be enough to make it really over. It is going to be a battle. One that I will have to fight every single day until I see the Lord face to face. But I think it is a worthy fight. A noble one. I want to say goodbye to the girl who worries 24/7 and say hello to a deeper, stronger, healthier relationship with the Lord. I want to trust Him. Like the children’s song says, “He’s got the whole world in His Hands.” The rest of Matthew chapter 6 goes something like this: "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” ( vs. 28-34)
My Heavenly Father knows that I need a home to live in next weekend. He knows. Better than I do. He knows my whole story. And He knows exactly what He is going to do with this chapter. I’ve never gone without a home, He has always provided for me, and I don’t think He is going to stop any time soon. His Word says that He delights in giving good gifts to His children. So I will choose to believe that. It may be harder than worrying, but I think it sounds a lot better.
From now on, when my husband calls, I don’t want to hope that it is just to tell me we got a closing date. I don’t want to well up in tears the next time a sweet friend asks me if we’ve heard any updates on the house. I don’t want to wait my the phone anymore. Or call everyone I know to ask their opinion on the matter and how they would feel if they were in this situation. And don’t want to get my hopes up that the Lord will just magically give us the blessing now that I have “given this up.” I know it doesn’t work like that. I want to trust. And trust and trust and trust and NOT worry. If you know me personally, you know this is almost like telling the birds not to fly around. Me not worry? My husband may not recognize me! And hey, maybe that’s a good thing!
So, with the Lord’s help, I’m letting go. With His help, I’m taking His hand, trusting that He is in control. He has been down this road before so I’m trusting Him to navigate. Goodbye, worry. I won’t miss you. I hope not to think about you. Please don’t call, don’t write, don’t try to reach me at all. I’m out of the country. For good. No offense, but I hope to never see your ugly mug again. Goodbye, worry. It’s the end for you and me. I’m just not that into you. It’s not you, it’s me. We’re better off as friends- no wait, I think we’d be better off as strangers. So long, farewell, goodbye.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Jury Duty
Hello all! Well, yesterday I had Jury Duty downtown at the County Judicial Center. For those of you who are Memphians, you know exactly what I mean when I say I spent my day at 201 Poplar. And what a day it was! After getting lost twelve times trying to find the Jury Hall, I made it with just minutes to spare, only to sit in a very hard auditorium style chair for three very hot hours while the Jury Commissioner explained each and every detail of the process. With a full bladder and an active baby using that bladder as a trampoline, you can imagine how uncomfortable I got. As they started calling names for juries, I actually got called! I was so excited to be able to stand up and go to the bathroom. Sadly, the wait to get to that bathroom was about another hour. Word to the wise, pregnant women should never go four plus hours without having a potty break. Ouch.
After going through security at 201 Poplar, the infamous courthouse in Memphis, we made it upstairs to the potty and then to the Criminal Court District 9 courtroom. You should know that this wasn't my first time at 201 Poplar. Shortly after I met Red Head in college, I got my first speeding ticket and went down to the courthouse to get it expunged from my record. That was terrifying, but I did have a good idea of what I was getting myself into going down there again for Jury Duty. Well, I thought I was prepared for it...
As the selected jurors all stood in line outside the courthouse, a woman came up to a maintenance worker standing close to us and asked him for directions. Her son was being released from jail and she was there to pick him up. You could see the excitement in her face. I wondered how long he had been locked up, how long had it been since she was able to see him, hug him. I wondered what it must be like to see your own child commit a crime, go through the court system, and then be placed in jail. Did she feel regret? Failure? Loneliness? Fear? Or was it just expected in their family? Did this happen often? And more importantly, would he ever commit another crime that would one day bring his mother back to that same place, picking him up all over again?
Once we were inside the building, it just went downhill. Person after person walking with police officers, lawyers, their families. Some getting to go home. Others facing trial and jail time. Each and every one broke my heart. It was terrible. It was mind boggling to think that on such a pretty spring day, instead of being at home or at work, these people were in a courthouse, searching for freedom and yet many finding only punishment. I completely admit that I was a little afraid of several of the people that I saw. My imagination would get the best of me and I wondered if the security at the front door was good enough to find every weapon that someone to could bring in. I didn't fear for my life but I was a little tense and uncomfortable at times.
On our lunch break, I went to the Court House Deli on Main Street with two friends that I had made in the jury pool. As we walked passed one of the small parks off of Main, there was a homeless woman sitting under a tree with two cops standing above her, telling her that she had to get up and leave. You could smell this woman from a block away. And as heavy as she was, she couldn't get up off the ground. No one tried to help her up. No one dared to touch her. She is our generation's unclean leper. There are signs posted everywhere downtown that say "Say no to panhandling. Giving money to the homeless does not help them. Give money to charities that help the poor." We might as well make the homeless yell out "Unclean! Unclean!" as they walk down the street. I'm not saying anything about giving money to the poor vs charities, that is not my issue. It is that our culture treats the homeless as an outcast group that we would prefer to get rid of or just pretend that they aren't there. Jesus didn't ignore the outcasts. In fact, He came for them. He spent his time with them, ate meals with them. He touched the leper and healed him. He touched the blind, the sick, the broken. He TOUCHED them. Personal skin-on-skin contact. With God Himself. Can you imagine?
I wanted more than anything to be able to touch and heal that woman in the park. I wanted to free her from all the bondage that her life was entangled in. I wanted to cast the demons away from her who kept her in that constant bondage. And I wanted her to open her eyes and see the Savior who came to die for her. Who came to love her. Who came to make her whole. I don't know her name, her story, her sin struggles, her past. This woman who was being humiliated and laughed at by the many around the park tugged at my heart in such a big way. If you think about it, will you pray for her today?
As we walked back to the courtroom, I got a quick second to call Red Head and I pretty much unloaded all of this new emotional baggage onto the poor man during his lunch break. I just didn't understand. I couldn't conceive how the Lord has given us so many blessings while so many go without even a roof over their heads or food to eat. Why us? Two young kids getting ready to buy a house and have a baby? We didn't do anything to deserve these blessings. In fact, we do a lot of things that make us completely undeserving of these blessings. Why us? Why are we so blessed when it could just have easily been us at the park homeless and friendless? I cannot understand the mind of the Lord and how He orders our lives. But I think that day forever changed me. How can I possibly be ungrateful for these blessings after such an eye-opening experience? How could I ever again think that I deserve something?
Back in the courtroom, twenty people were called from the forty of us. As the questions were asked and the final fourteen jurors were selected, I sat back in my seat and listened as they judges and lawyers spoke about the case. It was an attempted second-degree murder case. And in the room with us was the defendant, a young man who looked no more than twenty years old. Although I really wanted to be on the jury, I think the Lord knew that my heart couldn't take hearing all the details of the crime and then having to pass judgement on this man's life. Who am I to put this man behind bars or to let him walk out of that building free? How can I judge him? It was too much for this emotional pregnant woman to handle.
Think about this boy's family. His friends. His life. Did he ever have a chance to succeed or was this all that life had afforded him? Did anyone ever sit him down and teach him or guide him? Was he taught to respect authority and follow laws? Or did he only see broken lives and the lust of greed? I was released from jury duty this week after only one day. But that boy is still sitting in jail right now, waiting for his trial to start in a little over an hour. There are fourteen jurors waiting to sit in the box, hear the witnesses, and make a judgement on this boy's life. What will happen in that courtroom this week will undoubtedly change his life forever, for the good or the bad.
Just like that young man, I have a court date set in my future. No, I haven't broken a law of our state and been charged with that crime. But I have broken every single law that the Lord gave to Moses on Mount Sinai. I have broken every law of the Lord's. And because of that, I will face the Judge one day. I will have to stand before the Judge as the Accuser names every single sin and law that I have broken. But this is the best part- my Defender, Jesus Christ, will then stand up and I can imagine what He will say. "Yes, Jessica did all those things. She did break your law, Father, and the punishment for that is the death penalty. But I paid that penalty for her. She is clean now. Innocent. Not guilty. She is free to go." What will your court date look like? Will it look like mine? Or will the ending be much different? I should be punished for what I've done. But because the Lord is so merciful and gracious and loves me so much even though I have done nothing to merit it or earn it, He took my punishment for me.
"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5
After going through security at 201 Poplar, the infamous courthouse in Memphis, we made it upstairs to the potty and then to the Criminal Court District 9 courtroom. You should know that this wasn't my first time at 201 Poplar. Shortly after I met Red Head in college, I got my first speeding ticket and went down to the courthouse to get it expunged from my record. That was terrifying, but I did have a good idea of what I was getting myself into going down there again for Jury Duty. Well, I thought I was prepared for it...
As the selected jurors all stood in line outside the courthouse, a woman came up to a maintenance worker standing close to us and asked him for directions. Her son was being released from jail and she was there to pick him up. You could see the excitement in her face. I wondered how long he had been locked up, how long had it been since she was able to see him, hug him. I wondered what it must be like to see your own child commit a crime, go through the court system, and then be placed in jail. Did she feel regret? Failure? Loneliness? Fear? Or was it just expected in their family? Did this happen often? And more importantly, would he ever commit another crime that would one day bring his mother back to that same place, picking him up all over again?
Once we were inside the building, it just went downhill. Person after person walking with police officers, lawyers, their families. Some getting to go home. Others facing trial and jail time. Each and every one broke my heart. It was terrible. It was mind boggling to think that on such a pretty spring day, instead of being at home or at work, these people were in a courthouse, searching for freedom and yet many finding only punishment. I completely admit that I was a little afraid of several of the people that I saw. My imagination would get the best of me and I wondered if the security at the front door was good enough to find every weapon that someone to could bring in. I didn't fear for my life but I was a little tense and uncomfortable at times.
On our lunch break, I went to the Court House Deli on Main Street with two friends that I had made in the jury pool. As we walked passed one of the small parks off of Main, there was a homeless woman sitting under a tree with two cops standing above her, telling her that she had to get up and leave. You could smell this woman from a block away. And as heavy as she was, she couldn't get up off the ground. No one tried to help her up. No one dared to touch her. She is our generation's unclean leper. There are signs posted everywhere downtown that say "Say no to panhandling. Giving money to the homeless does not help them. Give money to charities that help the poor." We might as well make the homeless yell out "Unclean! Unclean!" as they walk down the street. I'm not saying anything about giving money to the poor vs charities, that is not my issue. It is that our culture treats the homeless as an outcast group that we would prefer to get rid of or just pretend that they aren't there. Jesus didn't ignore the outcasts. In fact, He came for them. He spent his time with them, ate meals with them. He touched the leper and healed him. He touched the blind, the sick, the broken. He TOUCHED them. Personal skin-on-skin contact. With God Himself. Can you imagine?
I wanted more than anything to be able to touch and heal that woman in the park. I wanted to free her from all the bondage that her life was entangled in. I wanted to cast the demons away from her who kept her in that constant bondage. And I wanted her to open her eyes and see the Savior who came to die for her. Who came to love her. Who came to make her whole. I don't know her name, her story, her sin struggles, her past. This woman who was being humiliated and laughed at by the many around the park tugged at my heart in such a big way. If you think about it, will you pray for her today?
As we walked back to the courtroom, I got a quick second to call Red Head and I pretty much unloaded all of this new emotional baggage onto the poor man during his lunch break. I just didn't understand. I couldn't conceive how the Lord has given us so many blessings while so many go without even a roof over their heads or food to eat. Why us? Two young kids getting ready to buy a house and have a baby? We didn't do anything to deserve these blessings. In fact, we do a lot of things that make us completely undeserving of these blessings. Why us? Why are we so blessed when it could just have easily been us at the park homeless and friendless? I cannot understand the mind of the Lord and how He orders our lives. But I think that day forever changed me. How can I possibly be ungrateful for these blessings after such an eye-opening experience? How could I ever again think that I deserve something?
Back in the courtroom, twenty people were called from the forty of us. As the questions were asked and the final fourteen jurors were selected, I sat back in my seat and listened as they judges and lawyers spoke about the case. It was an attempted second-degree murder case. And in the room with us was the defendant, a young man who looked no more than twenty years old. Although I really wanted to be on the jury, I think the Lord knew that my heart couldn't take hearing all the details of the crime and then having to pass judgement on this man's life. Who am I to put this man behind bars or to let him walk out of that building free? How can I judge him? It was too much for this emotional pregnant woman to handle.
Think about this boy's family. His friends. His life. Did he ever have a chance to succeed or was this all that life had afforded him? Did anyone ever sit him down and teach him or guide him? Was he taught to respect authority and follow laws? Or did he only see broken lives and the lust of greed? I was released from jury duty this week after only one day. But that boy is still sitting in jail right now, waiting for his trial to start in a little over an hour. There are fourteen jurors waiting to sit in the box, hear the witnesses, and make a judgement on this boy's life. What will happen in that courtroom this week will undoubtedly change his life forever, for the good or the bad.
Just like that young man, I have a court date set in my future. No, I haven't broken a law of our state and been charged with that crime. But I have broken every single law that the Lord gave to Moses on Mount Sinai. I have broken every law of the Lord's. And because of that, I will face the Judge one day. I will have to stand before the Judge as the Accuser names every single sin and law that I have broken. But this is the best part- my Defender, Jesus Christ, will then stand up and I can imagine what He will say. "Yes, Jessica did all those things. She did break your law, Father, and the punishment for that is the death penalty. But I paid that penalty for her. She is clean now. Innocent. Not guilty. She is free to go." What will your court date look like? Will it look like mine? Or will the ending be much different? I should be punished for what I've done. But because the Lord is so merciful and gracious and loves me so much even though I have done nothing to merit it or earn it, He took my punishment for me.
"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5
Friday, April 9, 2010
I'm Back I'm Back I'M BACK!
Hello to all my long lost friends out there in the blogging world! Well, I guess I was the one who was "long lost." My husband asked me the other night why I hadn't been blogging in a while, which totally surprised me because Mr. Red Head is not the world's biggest fan of spending undue amounts of time on the internet. (And don't even get him started about the television!) Originally, I had only planned on taking a few days off from blogging to clear my head and deal with the millions of things that seemed to start piling high on me. Blogging is great, but we've dealt with more things in the past two months than I think I have in my entire lifetime. Without boring you with all of the obnoxious details, I will give you a quick list of how life has gotten in the way of blogging:
Our house had a natural gas leak from the furnace, then our house had a carbon monoxide leak from the hot water heater, black mold in the bathroom, spending nearly three weeks at my parents house because our house was too dangerous to go back to, I fell out of a chair onto hard floor (bad anytime, especially when pregnant!), going to the doctor because of the natural gas/carbon monoxide/black mold, going to the doctor because of the fall, finally hearing that WE GOT THE HOUSE!, hearing at the last minute that there was a counteroffer of an extra $10,000, going through mortgage paperwork TWICE, a pinched nerve in my back that makes walking impossible at times, having insane and painful Braxton Hicks contractions, going to the doctor for the contractions, living the next three months with almost nonstop contractions, bank fraud, getting the bank fraud fixed, bank fraud again, getting called for jury duty, the violent outbreak in Kyrgyzstan and overthrowing of the government (Red Head and I both lived in KG for summers during college and still have so many friends and loved ones there) and dealing with ten million other things that seem way too grown up and serious for me to deal with. But, in all of these things, the Lord has taken wonderful care of us and we have seen His provision in awesome ways! Like my wise husband always tells me, these are just opportunities to trust!
There! Will you forgive me now for my absence? Thanks. I think I deserve a break! :) But, alas, I digress. I am back and hope to continue to update the blog as much as possible. I promise that I will continue with the Proverbs 31 Challenge, but it will be a few days before I wrap my head around getting back to that.
So, like I said earlier, Red Head and I got great news about two weeks ago that we got our affordable dream house. The day before we were supposed to close, we got the bad news that the seller's mortgage company had sent in a last minute counteroffer, bringing the sale price up ten thousand smackeroos. Ouch. While we have decided to go forward in the process, we were pretty burned by this. It was hard news to take but we still feel like this is the house that the Lord has been pointing us to throughout the whole search process and I am really looking forward to moving in and calling it home!
In two weeks, Red Head and I will be celebrating our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! That's one year of marriage and three years being together! It is hard to believe that I have been Mrs. Red Head for a whole year. It seems like just yesterday we were on our first date. Now three years later, we are expecting our first child and buying our first home. It certainly has been a BIG first year of marriage for us and I can't wait to see what the future will bring!
A few months into marriage, Red Head and I were looking over our finances and trying to come up with a few goals. We had a pretty hefty school loan that we were paying off in small bits every month, but we really had the desire to knock it out as soon as possible. We decided that the debt had to be gone by our one year anniversary and guess what- we are about $8,000 away! After we close on the house, 99% of the money that we have will go straight to the debt, paying it off before our deadline of April 25, 2010. Does this worry me? You better believe it. We will be putting practically everything we own towards a down payment, closing costs, and the school debt all within a two week time frame. We have crunched the numbers and we know that we will still have enough to pay our bills and eat for the next few weeks, but I can say it will be one of the leanest times in life that I have ever experienced. Yeah, I'm nervous. I know we can do it, but I sure do love the feeling of having that cushy amount in savings just in case. (The good thing is that we should be getting the tax credit soon after closing so that will help fluff up the accounts once again.)
After Red Head and I talked (and fought) this issue over extensively, I really came to see his point. Proverbs 22:7 says, "The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." We are TIRED of sending our hard earned money to the government every month and watching the interest just pile up. While I am thankful that Red Head was able to receive this loan during college so that he could get an education (and meet me!), I am ready to be done with it! And that is exactly our goal for the next two weeks- buy a house and pay off this school loan. Crazy? Yes! Smart? Maybe not. Wise? You better believe it! Just as Mr. Red continues to tell me, the Lord will bless our efforts in trying to glorify Him with our money and just as He has ALWAYS taken care of us, He will continue to do so!
So, sorry ladies, you won't find me in the mall for a while. And I probably won't be able to go out to eat or to the movies for a while. We've got a tight budget to adhere to! But pretty soon, I'll be debt free. And with Little Red Head coming in just 15 short weeks, having that extra money in the bank every month is going to feel very nice.
Speaking of Little Red Head, I wanted to give you a quick update. Today we are officially at 25 WEEKS! In just two weeks I will be leaving the blessed second trimester and entering the third and final trimester of this pregnancy. I have been having Braxton Hicks contractions for the past week or so but over the last few days, they have been pretty regular. After freaking out and scouring every pregnancy website I could find, we went to the doctor on Tuesday to have the two of us checked out. Cervix and everything is great, exactly where it needs to be and no signs yet of labor. Praise the Lord! Little Red Head is up to one pound and twelve ounces (and mom is up 19 pounds! eeek)! We have got ourselves a chunky baby coming! Red Head says he wants a ten pounder, to which I must continually remind him that my small frame could not possible push out a 10 lb baby and if I have to have a C-section, his life will not be very pleasant. I am still planning on doing natural childbirth so I would like a small five or six pound baby. :) But, OF COURSE, we will both be thrilled with our precious child no matter the size, gender or hair color. (But momma says Please be small!) The doctor said that the contractions will likely continue this way until we get to D-Day and that I am probably feeling them more than other women at this point in the pregnancy because of my small frame and the fact that I didn't have much pudge on my tummy to begin with so I can feel pretty much everything that is going on. Oh well, at least that means I get to feel this wonderful baby squirm and play all day. And hey, maybe after delivery we'll see that I have gotten six pack abs from all the ab workouts that these contractions are giving me! Gotta look on the bright side, right?
So, what is up next for our family? Packing, waiting for an official closing date, trying to decide which cloth diapers to order, more couponing, and living on our budget! To everyone in Memphis, hope you have a wonderful and beautiful weekend and enjoy this weather now that most of the pollen has been washed away!
I'M BACK!
Our house had a natural gas leak from the furnace, then our house had a carbon monoxide leak from the hot water heater, black mold in the bathroom, spending nearly three weeks at my parents house because our house was too dangerous to go back to, I fell out of a chair onto hard floor (bad anytime, especially when pregnant!), going to the doctor because of the natural gas/carbon monoxide/black mold, going to the doctor because of the fall, finally hearing that WE GOT THE HOUSE!, hearing at the last minute that there was a counteroffer of an extra $10,000, going through mortgage paperwork TWICE, a pinched nerve in my back that makes walking impossible at times, having insane and painful Braxton Hicks contractions, going to the doctor for the contractions, living the next three months with almost nonstop contractions, bank fraud, getting the bank fraud fixed, bank fraud again, getting called for jury duty, the violent outbreak in Kyrgyzstan and overthrowing of the government (Red Head and I both lived in KG for summers during college and still have so many friends and loved ones there) and dealing with ten million other things that seem way too grown up and serious for me to deal with. But, in all of these things, the Lord has taken wonderful care of us and we have seen His provision in awesome ways! Like my wise husband always tells me, these are just opportunities to trust!
There! Will you forgive me now for my absence? Thanks. I think I deserve a break! :) But, alas, I digress. I am back and hope to continue to update the blog as much as possible. I promise that I will continue with the Proverbs 31 Challenge, but it will be a few days before I wrap my head around getting back to that.
So, like I said earlier, Red Head and I got great news about two weeks ago that we got our affordable dream house. The day before we were supposed to close, we got the bad news that the seller's mortgage company had sent in a last minute counteroffer, bringing the sale price up ten thousand smackeroos. Ouch. While we have decided to go forward in the process, we were pretty burned by this. It was hard news to take but we still feel like this is the house that the Lord has been pointing us to throughout the whole search process and I am really looking forward to moving in and calling it home!
In two weeks, Red Head and I will be celebrating our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! That's one year of marriage and three years being together! It is hard to believe that I have been Mrs. Red Head for a whole year. It seems like just yesterday we were on our first date. Now three years later, we are expecting our first child and buying our first home. It certainly has been a BIG first year of marriage for us and I can't wait to see what the future will bring!
A few months into marriage, Red Head and I were looking over our finances and trying to come up with a few goals. We had a pretty hefty school loan that we were paying off in small bits every month, but we really had the desire to knock it out as soon as possible. We decided that the debt had to be gone by our one year anniversary and guess what- we are about $8,000 away! After we close on the house, 99% of the money that we have will go straight to the debt, paying it off before our deadline of April 25, 2010. Does this worry me? You better believe it. We will be putting practically everything we own towards a down payment, closing costs, and the school debt all within a two week time frame. We have crunched the numbers and we know that we will still have enough to pay our bills and eat for the next few weeks, but I can say it will be one of the leanest times in life that I have ever experienced. Yeah, I'm nervous. I know we can do it, but I sure do love the feeling of having that cushy amount in savings just in case. (The good thing is that we should be getting the tax credit soon after closing so that will help fluff up the accounts once again.)
After Red Head and I talked (and fought) this issue over extensively, I really came to see his point. Proverbs 22:7 says, "The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." We are TIRED of sending our hard earned money to the government every month and watching the interest just pile up. While I am thankful that Red Head was able to receive this loan during college so that he could get an education (and meet me!), I am ready to be done with it! And that is exactly our goal for the next two weeks- buy a house and pay off this school loan. Crazy? Yes! Smart? Maybe not. Wise? You better believe it! Just as Mr. Red continues to tell me, the Lord will bless our efforts in trying to glorify Him with our money and just as He has ALWAYS taken care of us, He will continue to do so!
So, sorry ladies, you won't find me in the mall for a while. And I probably won't be able to go out to eat or to the movies for a while. We've got a tight budget to adhere to! But pretty soon, I'll be debt free. And with Little Red Head coming in just 15 short weeks, having that extra money in the bank every month is going to feel very nice.
Speaking of Little Red Head, I wanted to give you a quick update. Today we are officially at 25 WEEKS! In just two weeks I will be leaving the blessed second trimester and entering the third and final trimester of this pregnancy. I have been having Braxton Hicks contractions for the past week or so but over the last few days, they have been pretty regular. After freaking out and scouring every pregnancy website I could find, we went to the doctor on Tuesday to have the two of us checked out. Cervix and everything is great, exactly where it needs to be and no signs yet of labor. Praise the Lord! Little Red Head is up to one pound and twelve ounces (and mom is up 19 pounds! eeek)! We have got ourselves a chunky baby coming! Red Head says he wants a ten pounder, to which I must continually remind him that my small frame could not possible push out a 10 lb baby and if I have to have a C-section, his life will not be very pleasant. I am still planning on doing natural childbirth so I would like a small five or six pound baby. :) But, OF COURSE, we will both be thrilled with our precious child no matter the size, gender or hair color. (But momma says Please be small!) The doctor said that the contractions will likely continue this way until we get to D-Day and that I am probably feeling them more than other women at this point in the pregnancy because of my small frame and the fact that I didn't have much pudge on my tummy to begin with so I can feel pretty much everything that is going on. Oh well, at least that means I get to feel this wonderful baby squirm and play all day. And hey, maybe after delivery we'll see that I have gotten six pack abs from all the ab workouts that these contractions are giving me! Gotta look on the bright side, right?
So, what is up next for our family? Packing, waiting for an official closing date, trying to decide which cloth diapers to order, more couponing, and living on our budget! To everyone in Memphis, hope you have a wonderful and beautiful weekend and enjoy this weather now that most of the pollen has been washed away!
I'M BACK!
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